The risky effort to contain the nation’s worst oil spill hit a snag Wednesday when a diamond-edged saw became stuck in a thick pipe on a blown-out well at the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico.
Coast Guard Adm. Thad Allen said the goal was to free the saw and finish the cut later in the day. This is the latest attempt to contain â€” not plug â€” the gusher. The best chance at stopping the leak is a relief well, which is at least two months from completion.
Of course it is.
In other news, a tanker full of puppies, cheerful nuns, and plucky orphans has been dispatched to the Gulf region to help with the spill; the SS Molly Brown will be docking at Galveston on the way in order to pick up the world’s greatest living brain surgeon, who will be assisting next week in an emergency procedure to save the life of a brilliant researcher on the verge of making a breakthrough in the field of fusion power. Accompanying her will be the world’s last remaining stores of live smallpox virus, secure in a pendant around a rhesus monkey’s neck.
Because we might as well get it over with.
Crossposted to Moe Lane.