Move over Lord Fauci, there’s a new infectious disease “expert” in town. Actually, this genius lives in the UK. Then again, if you want to “hug your granny without killing her,” the University of Leeds “specialist in airborne infections” has you covered.

As reported by the BBC in a post titled Covid: Tips on hugging safely, this ridiculous “glimmer of hope” [sarc], compliments of the British government:

“Government advice not to hug people might be lifted this month, but how safe is it?”

There it is. Who’d a thunk it? A government telling the citizenry when it’s okay to hug loved ones and when it’s not. En masse. One size fits all. Nothing authoritarian about that at all.

Babylon BBC: Government advice not to hug people might be lifted this month, but how safe is it? “a specialist in airborne infections says we should hug in moderation and gave these tips to keep safe”https://t.co/q5NXypUe8e

— Andrew Bostom, MD, MS (@andrewbostom) May 9, 2021

Obviously, the British government subscribes to the Joe Biden school of “I think people hang on my every word about what is allowable during the never-ending ”pandemic’ and what is not.”

Anyway, according to “specialist” Catherine Noakes — Professor of Environmental Engineering for Buildings at Leeds — the secret to “safe hugging” will continue to be “hug in moderation,” “turn your face away slightly,” always bearing in mind the risk you are taking because “you are very close to their breath at that moment.” Her advice (emphasis added):

You need to be a bit careful. It depends on who you are hugging. If it’s a grandparent hugging a grandchild and the grandparents are fully vaccinated, that’s probably quite a low risk activity most of the time.”

“Most of the time.” A go-to caveat of the left, therefore giving it — from its hypocritical perspective — license to go “Fauci” every 15 minutes and change its “expert” recommendations to suit its up-to-date narrative. And here we go:

“But it would worry me if we could advocate hugging all our friends every time we meet because that’s going to perpetuate an awful lot of additional close contact that could still spread the virus. Perhaps, you know, don’t hug everybody you know. Restrict to very small numbers of close family who really value a hug.”

Not to nitpick, but isn’t a mask or six [sarc] the panacea-of-panaceas in preventing COVID spread? Despite Biden’s clownish daily displays to the contrary? Vaccinated Biden dutifully dons his mask(s) outdoors — even when there isn’t another human being within a “symbolism over substance” mile — which is not in alignment with the latest CDC guidelines.

Then again, as is the case with everything else hypocritical about the left, “science” is only to be touted when it supports the left’s narrative. When it does not, it is to be manipulated, lied about, or flat-out ignored.

So what’s the bottom line, Professor Know-It-All?

“Don’t hug too frequently. Keep it short, not face to face. Turn your face away slightly. The reality is when you hug someone you are going to be very close to them. You are very close to their breath at that moment.”

“Very close to their breath at that moment.” [insert ROTFL emoji] Irrespective of the number of masks involved in “the hug,” vaccinations, and medical condition or risk factors.

Ah, but as it turns out, it appears that our intrepid “hug expert” might not be overly fond of hugs in the first place. Noakes recounted a recent “hug-alert” encounter:

“Then, as we were saying goodbye, a friend leaned in and gave me a full-body hug. “I’m doing hugs! I’m double jabbed. It’s not that I wasn’t glad that she wanted to give me a squeeze; it’s that I didn’t think we were at that stage yet and, if I’m honest, I’ve got used to just waving or miming some fabulous air kisses.”

[Rolling-eyes emoji] Finally, let’s revisit the Biden school of “government officials believing the majority of their citizenry actually give a damn about their Karen dos and don’ts.

UK set for hugs, indoor dining as COVID curbs further relaxed https://t.co/agMkXAKK7G

— Al Jazeera English (@AJEnglish) May 10, 2021

Dutifully, Catherine Noakes passed along the potentially great news from George Orwell the British government.

“Loved ones will be able to hold each other for the first time in months after the Prime Minister confirms Covid-19 rates have sunk low enough to proceed to the next stage of lockdown lifting a week today.”

Oh, goodie. Incidentally, Boris Johnson came under intense criticism in the UK last fall for arriving at the “COVID crisis” party way too late.

#News: COVID-19: Indoor pints and hugs with family – Boris Johnson confirms new lockdown easing in England from 17 Mayhttps://t.co/Ilxcr6yjDh

— Atom Radio (@UkAtomRadio) May 10, 2021

Hey — I’m sure those purported “loved ones” who have been yearning to “hold each other for the first time in months” are largely non-existent. The reason being, as is the case with millions of Americans who don’t give a damn what Biden says about the Fourth of July, or any other personal choice, the “no hugs” ship sailed long ago.

If it ever existed in the first place.