Since it appears that masks are going to be with us until somewhere near the end of time, “exciting mask news” from Mexican researchers has just been announced: the “sleek,” new “nose-only” mask will protect you from “catching COVID” when you’re out on the town!
Here’s a new “nose-only” mask to protect you from the Rona while eating. I hope it comes in red! https://t.co/ZyXt6rxHLl
— Not the Bee (@Not_the_Bee) March 25, 2021
Let’s go to CBS News for a “breaking report” on this yuuge development.
Researchers in Mexico have made a nose-only Covid mask, which they say reduces the risk of infection of coronavirus during eating and talking.
Wait — talking? In public? Up close and personal? With an exposed mouth? Does Biden know about this? Fredo? Don Lemon?
Can you imagine sitting in an upscale restaurant, perhaps on a date, eating and minding your own business, and this happens, at a table right across from you? You’ve just taken a drink of your favorite beverage… but not yet swallowed it… then it happens.
Researchers in Mexico have made a nose-only Covid mask, which they say reduces the risk of infection of coronavirus during eating and talking. pic.twitter.com/ArUEGZaJj3
— CBS News (@CBSNews) March 24, 2021
Let’s pick up “the rest of the story” from The Hill:
Researchers in Mexico have developed a nose-only COVID-19 mask designed for people to wear while eating and drinking.
The mask is worn similarly to a typical mask with straps behind the ears but the fabric solely covers the nasal area instead of both the nose and mouth.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), however, says that more mask coverage and not less is the best-case scenario. A CDC study released last month said that wearing a cloth mask over a medical procedure one, or double masking, can significantly decrease the spread of COVID-19.
The World Health Organization recommends the public wear masks that provide coverage over the nose, mouth, and chin.
Ooh, good point. Which raises the most important question of our time: WWTFD?
What Would Tony Fauci Do?
(Yes, there’s at least one funnier — though NSFW — question for the acronym.)
We already know the answer, regardless of CDC and WHO recommendations that masks worn in public should cover the nose, mouth, and chin. And Fauci?
Fauci would dismiss the nose-only mask out-of-hand and yell at us really loud for ignoring his warnings — as random and ever-changing as they might be — and for refusing to follow his “emerging and infectious diseases expert” advice. Among the renowned scientist’s “recent recommendations,” as “reported” by the satire site, The Babylon Bee:
Dr. Fauci Reminds Everyone That We Will Only Have to Wear Masks Until Humans Evolve Organic Face Coverings at Birth
As “noted” by The Bee, Fauci “said”:
“As soon as humans naturally evolve an organic nose and mouth covering at birth, then we can start dialing back on the mask mandates,” while assuring America, “This isn’t going to be some endless, arbitrary policy. We have clear, scientific measures informing us when masks are obsolete.”
Check out the piece over at The Bee to find out how long the good doctor now believes mankind will be forced (by Democrat governments) to continue the mask routine.
Dr. Fauci Reminds Everyone That We Will Only Have To Wear Masks Until Humans Evolve Organic Face Coverings At Birth https://t.co/I4qncfcZ31
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) February 23, 2021
In the meantime, you might want to consider rocking a “nose-only” mask underneath your regular mask when you go out for a few beers or a nice dinner. Besides, if Fauci or Biden happens to wander by and catch a glimpse of you in your “nose-only” mask, you can explain that the mask was “invented by experts in Mexico.”
Although, it appears that the Mexican researchers weren’t the first to come up with the idea. A year ago, Chinese medical workers were reportedly using a similar nose mask during meals due to the pandemic.
Either way, good luck in your conversation with Fauci or Biden. Or both.