You can’t make this shi stuff up. Here, try this on: #Petromasculinity. See what I mean?

A Canadian politician got his ass handed to him on Twitter after he posted a ridiculous tweet in which he shredded large pickup trucks — one in particular, at first —as “the glorification of violence and domination.” Just to make his tweet even more asinine, he added the hashtags #unnecessarytrucks and #petromasculinity — my fave, hands down.

The festivities began when Matthew Bond, a member of the Canada Council serving Vancouver, decided to share his disgust for the below tricked-out Dodge Ram on Twitter.

The glorification of violence and domination. #unnecessarytrucks #petromasculinity pic.twitter.com/gb6Dxqq9hN

— Mathew Bond (@mrmathewbond) January 17, 2021

Background:

The truck, which had a large plate attached to the front reading “Global Warmer,” catalyzed Mathew Bond to slam it for its dismissive attitude toward global warming.

After blowback ensued from his tweet, Bond launched a Twitter thread addressing the issue in which he accused some of his critics of mocking him as unmanly, while he speculated that some of the owners of similar trucks were trying to prove their masculinity.

Many of the “blowback” tweets were pretty graphic — which, of course, made the thread even better — so I decided to just go with his first response from the onslaught, and let you fire up Twitter and take it from there, at your discretion.

A lot of the replies to this tweet (which Twitter has graciously ran through the quality filter) are reinforcing the point I made.

— Mathew Bond (@mrmathewbond) January 17, 2021

From that point on, Bond seemed to only “open his mouth to change feet.”

“Wow, never expected to have so many people on this website thinking about my penis (especially dudes). Weird, but thanks? Trucks are necessary in many rural areas. Designing or modifying them to be more dangerous to others than they already are is unnecessary.”

“More dangerous”? How so? Please tell us more.

“Glorifying global warming, when millions around the world are suffering from its impacts, is sad, harmful and disgusting. Since everyone seems to be enjoying this pile-on, here’s [sic] a few more things you might enjoy as you head into the week.

“The fact is that trucks (all vehicles in fact) are being designed larger and more powerful than they have in the past. [Oh noes!!!] Pick your favourite light or mid duty model and compare today’s version to that of your parents (or grandparents if you’re young).” [Why? I’ll pass.]

Back to “more dangerous” — and more idiocy.

“The design, specifically the size and height of the front of the truck, is more dangerous and can cause more harm to others on the road than it used to,” he commented. “Lift it up 6″ inches plus, put a big bull bar on [the] front, and the affect [sic] is amplified.

“From the replies Twitter has shown me, it seems a lot of people haven’t thought about this. Or they have thought about it and don’t care about the impact on other people using the road.

“Or they’ve thought about it and decided that having a bigger, more powerful truck with modifications that are going to be more harmful to others in a crash is somehow more ‘manly.’”

And there it is. First, the guy brings up the “penis thing.” Then he frets that guys who drive big pickup trucks do so because want to be “more manly.” I’m no therapist, Matt, but you might wanna talk to one. Just sayin’.

Can it get more embarrassing? You betcha.

“And that a man that has thought about the impact of the size and mods on these trucks, or who cares about the harm that global warming is having on people around the world is a sissy, a p*ssy and a girl (as if being a woman is an insult). The misogyny is pretty disgusting.”

Dude. Therapy.

Finally…

“The mental leap from ‘the message on the truck is harmful, glorifying global warming is violent and the size/mods on this truck make it more dangerous for others on the road’ to ‘Mathew is a d***less, ball-less, spineless, soy latte drinking, city living p*ssy who’s never done a day of ‘real’ work in his life, sits down to pee, hates all trucks, the hard working people that drive them and wants to control our lives’ actually illustrates the toxicity I was mentioning in the hashtags better than anything I could have done myself.”

Feel like you need a shower after that? Me, too.

Somewhere in this guy’s background, he probably — oh, never mind. I wouldn’t know anything about it, anyway.