Well THAT Settles It! Maxine Waters 'Guarantees' Biden ‘Can’t Go Home Without a Black Woman Being VP’

AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite

As the Joe Biden Vice Presidential Nominee Selection Process Express (tongue planted firmly in cheek) chugs slowly towards the finish line, Rep. Maxine Waters (D-CA) on Friday guaranteed who Biden will finally tap as his running mate. Suspense killing you? Me, neither.

That said, Mad Maxine “boldly” predicted… drumroll, please… that Joe will select… as his vice presidential running mate… a… black woman.

Given that most of the known universe believes Biden’s pick will be a black woman — he’s all but said so — and that “those in the know” say the three finalists are Sen. Kamala Harris (D-CA), former UN ambassador and national security advisor under Barack Obama, Susan Rice, and Rep. Karen Bass (D-CA) — all black — Maxine’s guarantee was neither bold, nor necessary.

So why did she make it? Because Maxine is Maxine, of course.

Thing is, other than renewed speculation as late as Friday that (white) embattled Michigan Mayor Gretchen Whitmer might still be a contender, the real news would be Biden not selecting a black woman.

Nonetheless, Maxine said during a Friday virtual town hall meeting on Essence that Biden “can’t go home” unless he picks a black woman.

“We know that we’re going to have a Black woman as vice president. Let me guarantee you this, based on everything that I know and understand, and the help that he has already gotten from the Black community […] he can’t go home without a Black woman being VP.”

Got “systemic racism,” Maxine?

During comments about Rep. John Lewis (D-AL), the late Civil Rights icon who passed away in July, Waters stressed the importance of Blacks voting in November.

“We have a responsibility to vote. We can’t have people going around talking about how wonderful John Lewis was, how much he sacrificed, the beatings that he took, the way that he put his life on the line and we don’t get up and vote. There is no excuse.”

As devotees of Maxine’s wild rants about “Trump” are well aware, she suffers from a rare TDS-related form of Tourette Syndrome [sarc], which causes her to blurt out — incessantly and without the slightest of provocation — “Impeach 45! Impeach 45! Impeach 45!” ad nauseam, a condition with which she has been afflicted since the nanosecond Trump was declared the winner of the 2016 presidential election.

Hence, Mad Maxine lives to “beat Trump.” “Literally.” “Our lives depend on this,” she said.

“Four more years of Trump, he will be able to exercise the kind of exclusion and discrimination that will set us back many, many years and we cannot afford that. He stands to imperil our future and the future of our children. So vote, vote, vote.”

Wait — did Maxine just encourage Black people to vote three times? I’m kidding, of course — not that she wouldn’t encourage it if she could get away with it, huh?

As to be expected, Twitter had thoughts.

Ah, but what about the 1/1,064th Native American whose 2020 presidential campaign consisted of promising to give as much “free” stuff to minorities as she thought she could get away with? Why shouldn’t she be Joe’s pick?

Regardless of who Joe’s handlers Joe selects as his running mate, chances are the Democrat standard bearers won’t appear together during the convention, given that Joe will not be going to Milwaukee for the festivities out of concerns over COVID-19. (Wink-wink.)

That is, unless Joe’s team decides to allow his (“black woman”) running mate to visit with Joe in his basement and watch the convention on TV.