Will you uptight conservative parents get it through your reactionary little heads: nobody is trying to sexualize your children – certainly not in our world-class public schools … okay, maybe in Chicago, and maybe the Biden Administration, but nobody anywhere else. Those people you call “groomers” (hate speech, BTW!) are education professionals who operate according to the latest, cutting-edge thinking about … er, sex and … children …

Consider this latest moral panic from Lincoln Elementary School in Washington State. It seems that on May 9, students saw a presentation of “sex education material from Planned Parenthood that included information about puberty blockers and graphics of pubic hair art.”

Wow, in addition to receiving up-to-date biomedical information, Lincoln Elementary students are exposed to a vibrant arts and crafts environment!

The presentation came from the caring and not-at-all creepy folks at “Teen Council, a sex-education program from Planned Parenthood.” So, these kids are in good hands. Nobody knows more about sex and evading its consequences than Planned Parenthood.

Of course, some stick-in-the-mud parents got upset. “The materials reportedly had neither ‘parental consent’ nor ‘district approval,’ and only came to light when children told their parents.”

Well duh! Teen Council and the brave, forward-thinking school personnel that invited them knew there’d be sky god worshippers who’d go all Puritan at the mere mention of a “’Gender Wheel’ that featured a list of pronouns to address various obscure transgender identities such as ‘femme boy’ and ‘genderfluid person.’”

It’s better to apologize than ask permission – though what Teen Council would have to apologize for is beyond me. Are we supposed to trust parents to talk about sexuality with their kids – let alone talk to them when their young enough to be properly confused? Highly qualified professionals must talk about sex with children early and often so they’re not infected by parents’ retrograde views about sex.

But don’t take my word for it. Kat Tenbarge is a tech and culture reporter for NBC News. It doesn’t get more credible than that. She says:

“Parents can teach sex ed to their kids” Can parents name every STD and how they’re transmitted? Can they teach you how to identify date rape drugs? Can they define “pelvic floor”? And more importantly — would they?

— Kat Tenbarge (@kattenbarge) February 3, 2023

Parents teaching kids backward ideas about sex or not teaching them at all is how we ended up with all these problems

— Kat Tenbarge (@kattenbarge) February 3, 2023

And conservative parents never seem to realize just how much care the nurturing adults at Teen Council and Planned Parenthood take to make sure explicit and challenging sexual content is made nonthreatening and accessible – even inviting – to underage school children:

The most graphic thing kids were shown was a diagram of differently shaped genitalia. Some of the pictures included pubic hair shaved to appear like a cartoonish cat, while another showed pubic hair shaved like a heart.

In another example, the kids were told that puberty blocker meds were “supplies that could be helpful during puberty.” Heck, it wouldn’t be surprising if these thorough pedagogues had a friendly, anthropomorphic characterization of the “small, flexible implant” they we educating the 5^th graders about.

Is it too much to ask that parents be properly grateful to see the kind of important, sophisticated instruction their tax dollars are purchasing? I guess it is because Lincoln’s principal emailed parents and said the school wasn’t in on what was being taught:

“I want to make you aware that materials that are not part of the school district’s approved sexual health curriculum were distributed on May 9th in class,” the principal reportedly wrote. “We are investigation the matter and working with staff to get more information to determine next steps. If you have any questions, please reach out to me.”

In the meantime, Planned Parenthood and Teen Council will be prowling the nation, ever-vigilant for chances to reach out to your kids.