Watching Sean Hannity interview Donald Trump these days is always a bit of an uncomfortable experience. It’s like you’re intruding on two high school sophomores who are taking the final, fumbling steps of flirting before they start making out. There’s one difference, though: the high schoolers have better grammar.

Four times in the span of less than 60 seconds, Trump said the New York Times was failing because “they don’t write good.” I am not kidding. I’m not saying I’ve never used an adjective when an adverb is actually called for, but “they don’t write good” is an especially egregious example. I mean, it just sounds ignorant, even to people who couldn’t even tell you the difference between an adjective and an adverb. And Trump just rips it off repeatedly, just like he’s using some really killer words and making some exceptionally eloquent point.

Substantively, Trump is such a transparent and simple-minded person. Anyone who criticizes him does their job poorly and is doomed for inevitable failure and perdition. Anyone who praises him does their job well and is likely to succeed. There is absolutely no further depth to Trump’s thought process about who is good at their job and who is not. You can see it in the way he frequently changes his tune on the exact same person based entirely on whether they have started criticizing Trump or not:

Someone said to me on Twitter the other day, and I forget who, that Trump would praise ISIS if ISIS said something flattering about him. He’s like an especially excitable chihuahua – he yaps all day about nothing in particular but if you pat him on the head he’ll wag his tail and lick your hand. All his personal interactions are purely Pavlovian and driven entirely by the extent to which he receives praise from the person he is talking to.

Let’s elect him as President! What could possibly go wrong?

UPDATE: To give proper credit, the line in question was courtesy of the indomitable Patterico.

@LeonHWolf @NumbersMuncher Like I said: Trump would praise ISIS if ISIS praised him. He also would criticize a nun if the nun criticized him

— Patterico (@Patterico) July 31, 2016