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Unsolicited Advice: Ya Hate Chris Pratt Cuz Ya Ain't Chris Pratt

Actor Chris Pratt went from being the most beloved Chris in the world to the worst Chris in the world after he publicly revealed a shocking secret…he’s a Christian. Since then, the knives have been out.

This week, Pratt posted a beautiful missive on Instagram in which he praised his wife, Katherine (daughter of the former Governator and Maria Shriver) for being a loving partner and mother, thanked her profusely for putting up with him and expressed his adoration for all that she does for their family. The progressive mobs accused him of taking a dig at ex-wife Anna Farris with his “healthy daughter” remark, as if he were secretly blaming her for the fact that their son together was born with a serious health condition.

That in itself is so petty — and frankly, projection. The people who were angry with Pratt for daring to mention his healthy baby are the type of people who really would blame a mother for birthing a child with health issues.

But the truth is, it’s not the fabricated dig at his ex-wife that they hate. It is that he loves his wife and defers to her countenance, as a Christian husband should.

There is a segment of our very broken society who resent gender roles and traditional male/female relationships. They resent marriage and the “privilege” it seems to bestow. But what they really resent is that adherence to those roles and the biological and psychological realities of gender differences actually create happy and healthy relationships. It eats them up inside to think that those filthy Christians and awful conservatives are right about the value of recognizing gender differences. They hate marriage because it’s an indictment of their shitty world view.

Men are pigs and women are victims. It simply does not make sense that a man would defer to his wife, serve his wife, adore his wife, or imagine his wife as a precious gift.

It simply does not make sense that a woman could serve her husband, dote on their offspring, find fulfillment in supporting his goals and career, and find that same sort of support in return.

No, the only way people like this are supposed to be happy is to make sure that they are complete and total equals. They must split chores and bills right down the middle. The wife must never fold clothes and the man must never take out the trash. Those are stereotypical roles. Husbands shouldn’t hold doors or treat their wives with delicacy, they must treat her like they treat every other man. Women shouldn’t let men get away with giving them special treatment. That’s sexist. Instead they should nag their husbands for being such cavemen as to imagine their wife as a precious gift to protect.

The only way to be happy in marriage (if you must marry) is to bleed out every bit of distinctiveness from each party until both are equal in role and equal in misery. If people like the Pratts are happy, they must be lying to themselves.

Of course, we know the ones who are lying are the miserable 3rd-wave feminism crowd who secretly long for the type of affection and stability the Pratts share but feel shame for that longing, and so in turn must shame anyone who has found it. They have to make Katherine the object of her husband, instead of the object of her husband’s affection. They have to make Pratt a narcissist who thinks the world revolves around him, instead of husband who knows his world revolves around his family.

As my colleague Brandon Morse likes to say, Twitter isn’t real life. Social media isn’t real life. Hopefully the Pratt family can ignore the ridiculousness and continue to enjoy each other and their blended family.

My advice to the Pratt family and anyone who wants to be bothered by all this silliness: Let the haters be lonely and miserable. It’s what they want.