Why Roseanne Will Win the 2024 GOP Nomination

Roseanne Barr arrives at the NBC Universal Summer Press Day on Tuesday, April 8, 2014, in Pasadena, Calif. (Photo by Richard Shotwell/Invision/AP)

On May 29th, Roseanne Barr sent a now infamous tweet about former Obama advisor, Valerie Jarrett, out into Twitter space. The now-deleted tweet said: “Muslim brotherhood & planet of the apes had a baby=vj.”


As a comedian, Barr can usually get away with saying shocking and downright offensive things. However, this tweet crossed the line. By the end of all the initial drama, the reboot of Roseanne had been canceled by ABC, legions of fans were left disappointed and disgusted, and the actress blamed the drug Ambien for, uh, briefly turning her into a racist.

As expected, much loud and proud support for the disgraced star emanated from the Republican side. To them, Roseanne Barr is a necessary martyr. She apologized for her prescription drug-induced ridicule and is being unfairly punished. Her weekly presence was a departure from the Left-leaning entertainment that makes up most of what we see on television. The beloved show somehow indicated a shift in coastal thinking about the residents in Middle America. Finally, MAGA nation had a representative in Hollywood.

This is/was the general consensus among supporters.

Though her time at ABC has come to an end, her future in the world of GOP politics could just be beginning. You see, Roseanne would be an ideal choice for Republicans in 2024. And no, it’s not as far-fetched as one might think.

Here are three reasons why Roseanne has a great shot at winning that future nomination. These “qualities” follow right in line with current Republican thinking.

Insulting to Others

To be the head of the GOP, you must excel at insulting other humans on a regular basis. This quality will keep the base energized and give the speaker an untouchable quality. What would be considered inappropriate from others will instead be accepted and determined to be “just telling it like it is.” In fact, the more dismissive you are of social norms the better. Topics to cover are wide-ranging, and open to interpretation depending on the setting, but include: physical appearance, gender, disability, race, etc.


After an insult is thrown, it’s best to never apologize. You must remain resolute in your verbal barbs and continue on as though it’s business as usual. Once you do that enough, that’s exactly what it becomes. Furthermore, your followers will love you for it.


Celebrity Appeal 

Forget political experience or policy knowledge of any kind. The best preparation for capturing the GOP nomination has become celebrity appeal. Reality stars (with a heavy dose of playboy) are definitely preferred, but having a spicy and outrageous career in the entertainment industry will also fit the bill.  Remember, your job is to entertain enough on the campaign trail that voters on the Right, fed up with the Left and filled with a desire to “own the Libs!” will fall in love with your brash nature. No one wants boring and principled. (How long did Governor Scott Walker last as a presidential contender?) Instead, the electorate desires unpredictability and decades-long name recognition.


No Need to Be an Actual Conservative 

The ideal political background is one that includes not a hint of conservative values. It’s best to stay as far away from those as possible until just before announcing your GOP candidacy. Roseanne’s recent political past includes running for president as a member of the Green Party with none other than Cindy Sheehan as her running mate. This is perfect and keeping in line with the “don’t be a serious conservative in the recent past” requirement that has floated to the top of acceptability among members on the Right. Once on the campaign trail, and after announcing yourself as a Republican, do your best to completely betray the values to which conservatives hold dear. Remember, insulting others works best to propel yourself to the top of the pack. Never answer questions in a substantive way, deflect as much as possible, always display your lack of knowledge, and do your best to chip away at conservatism. These are top-notch tactics if you want to be the victor.



Jonathan V. Last over at The Weekly Standard summed up the Republican love for Roseanne quite nicely:

She is, at best, a vulgarian and, at worst, a cretin. Remember the crotch-grabbing national anthem? Remember her publishing the address of George Zimmerman’s parents? Remember her dressing up as Hitler? Or speaking to the Occupy Wall Street protesters? Or running for president with anti-war activist Cindy Sheehan as her running mate? Because those are all things that happened in the very recent past and this isn’t even the whole list.

And yet, a bunch of Republican types—including White House social media guy Dan Scavino and the guy he works for (and that guy’s son)—all decided that, by gum, Roseanne represented the poor, the disposessed, the great, happily deplorable, Electoral College majority. Because, #ratings.

And high ratings on the campaign trail, no matter what they’re for, will win you the nomination, friends. All Roseanne needs to do is push aside decency, embrace celebrity, and become a token conservative in time, and she’s on her way to winning that GOP nomination.

I know she can do it. How? Oh, it’s been done before.

The views expressed here are those of the author and do not represent those of any other individual or entity. Follow Kimberly Ross on Twitter and Facebook.


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