Dads, We Still Need you

In all the coverage that is celebrating females and motherhood, we miss out on something important. Celebrating men and fatherhood. We have Father’s Day coming up this weekend, yes, but increasingly, it seems the worth of Dads (and positive male role models) is pushed aside throughout the year. It’s a woman’s world, man. For too long we chicks have been relegated to second class citizens, so it’s our turn to be in the spotlight, right? This mindset is more harmful than anything.

If true equality were actually the goal of social justice crusaders, that makeup would look like honoring women and men an equal amount by celebrating their differences. Groundbreaking, huh? Don’t expect it anytime soon. Feminists have a bee in their bonnet about everything male-related. The patriarchy is the supposed omnipresent force seeking to destroy every set of XX chromosomes, violently rule over all, and then beat its chest at the end of the day. How are females even thriving? Perhaps because we’ve course corrected to an enormous degree. Instead of just accepting advances in legal rights for females in decades past, womankind went on a hyperactive spree designed to create inequality which would allow women to rule. And that’s not progress at all, it’s just plain sexism.

I’ve never understood the frustration that comes from realizing others have strengths you don’t possess. Why? Because on the other hand, they also possess weaknesses which aren’t yours. We all have God-given traits, talents, and personalities which are unique and which complement others. To that end, I favorably view the idea of traditional roles. Growing up, things were pretty clear in my household. While both my parents would discipline my brothers and I, the buck stopped with my dad. If he wasn’t there during a time when one of the offspring committed an offense, we knew our mother’s disapproval was just Act 1. The knowledge that Act 2 involved a disappointed and disciplining father would cause us to reassess our actions and attitudes. Also growing up, I was blessed with a stay-at-home mom. My father was the breadwinner, yes, but both my parents worked hard to provide and care for their three children. They remain a team to this day, and are an excellent example to many. I don’t view my upbringing as clouded by a patriarchal domination which loomed over everything. I view it as it was: a team effort by a father and mother to raise their children. Traditional roles were celebrated, not discarded, and respectful attitudes from both were apparent.

We’re absolutely fooling ourselves to think children would be better off without a strong male influence in their lives. In today’s day and age when divorce is common, we’re also aware this may mean a male family friend, uncle, or grandfather might need to take over duties of the male figure for a short time, or even for a long while. For a girl, a father (or a positive male role model) is her first example of what it means to be a man. That is of singular importance. The girl will judge and scrutinize all the men in her future by how her father treats her, her mother, and other women. What could be more necessary than that in a world which is obsessed with pitting the genders against each other? Fathers have great influence on their sons, too. Boys will model their father’s actions, and when they grow up to become men of their own, will notice traits and behavior subconsciously learned from their dad. As A Voice for Men pointed out:

…the most common group of males you’ll find in prisons are children of single mothers, who represent 78% of prisoners.  Yes, fathers, when they are responsible, are one of the biggest crime-stoppers out there.

Having fathers which are 1. present in their children’s lives, and 2. invest in them, is helpful to society as whole. But what do many in society do? They push away the thought of an in-charge, active male role model because it upsets 2015’s delicate sensibilities and all that feminist achievement.  We exaggerate the notions that are the bumbling, uninterested dad and the bossy, overbearing mother. Why can’t we just accept the strengths and weaknesses of both, and not worry about looking to trump the other?

I would like to see us praise, honor, and lift up the idea of fathers and male role models. Fatherhood is of extreme importance, and I see several positive examples of that in my life. So many fathers – ones who will never be publicly recognized – are committed to being a hardworking, sacrificial, loving, encouraging presence in their homes. Those in society must embrace the fact that its foundation is made stronger by women and men. But this should not just be the focus as celebrate Father’s Day. It should be a constant 365 days a year.