Has the New York Times Been Compromised by Aliens?

Aliens have been in the news a lot recently. We’re not quite sure if they’re messing with us, if it’s the Chinese or Russian military, or if it’s good, old-fashioned angels and demons fighting over our immortal souls.


If there is a greater truth out there, it appears the Paper of Record knows about it.

On Tuesday, a headline appeared over at the New York Times that raised a lot of eyebrows as well as concerns about just how alone we really are in the universe.

The conspiracy theorist in me (the alien kind, not the Rebekah Jones kind) would like to believe that the Times has been compromised by an extraterrestrial enemy and that one brave whistleblower was trying to alert us to its presence. Unfortunately, the enemy caught wind of this brave whistleblower and shut it down quickly. An Internet archive shows the story that went live was incomplete and has the appearance of a joke post.

(Screenshot via archive.today)

Now, the reasonable person will likely admit that this was a joke that was accidentally published, and someone out there is super embarrassed that it happened. It’s a blip in the Times’ storied history and everyone will move on. I, however, choose not to follow the crowd on this one, as a lot of the pieces really start to fall into place when you consider the source.

If the New York Times were not compromised by hostile aliens, then why would they be so adamantly anti-gun and anti-Second Amendment, and be openly pro-confiscation? The answer is obvious: they want us disarmed so their overlords can begin the invasion. Likewise, they support Democrats who are almost consistently bad when it comes to foreign policy, and they routinely attack Republicans who are too pro-military. This would explain the quick and decisive actions taken in response to the controversial Tom Cotton op-ed from last year.


Incidentally, one has to assume that columnist Nick Kristoff is either an alien or works directly for them, as he has been known to accuse the U.S. military of crazy conspiracies like one of their own developing and sending out anthrax during that big scare. Planting the seeds of doubt about our military in the minds of Americans? A clever trick, E.T.

It would be downright irresponsible of me as a journalist to just outright dismiss the possibility that the New York Times has been compromised by aliens hostile to our planet. There is a clear agenda from the Times editorial staff that focuses on weakening and removing America’s influence from the world stage. And, as we see above, they are quick to dismiss any real claims about aliens and their agricultural achievements while allowing stories about possible UFOs dancing around our military.

They are mocking us. They are using our media against us, now. We must rise up against this invasion before it is too late.


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