As I sit here a wassailing, I can’t help but think of Christmas Eve past. Specifically, Christmas Eve 2006. Two things happened that night, one was horrible, the other amazing. While RedState is typically a news and politics blog, I am taking the writers prerogative tonight.
As for the horrible, Christmas Eve 2006 was a month after I left active duty from my deployment to Iraq, it was also the night I tried to take my life. I have written about it many times, and many know the story so I won’t rehash it here. I bring it up for those who may be thinking of doing the same during this holiday season. Please don’t. The world is a better place because you are in it. It took me a lot of work to realize that. The loss you will inflict on those you think you are sparing from your existence will be crushed by your action. Seek help, call someone, call 911, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. Hell, tweet me at @jonlubecky, I will talk to you if you have no one else. Please realize someone cares. I am living proof that life can be better. I am nothing special or extraordinary, if I can overcome suicide, so can you. If you know someone who is lonely or depressed this Christmas and New Year’s, call them, reach out, let them know you care. If you are a Veteran, check on your Battle Buddy. One thing Dr Bruce Capehart, the first doctor to help me told me once was to keep a list of three names and numbers on me at all times. One of the three will answer. I ask anyone who has felt as I have to do the same, and before you do anything rash, call all three numbers. One will always answer.
At the same time, I was putting a pistol to my temple and pulling the trigger, 25 miles away my baby girl was being born. My Service Dog Becky (yes, her name is Becky Lubecky) was born on Christmas Eve 2006. Today she celebrates her 10th birthday. If it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t be here. She is amazing, I love her, she has always been there when the demons come, and she chases them away. There have been many a day I have stood on a bridge and I didn’t jump because there was no one to care for her. Love can defeat suicide. One of the best things I ever did when I returned was to adopt her as a little puppy. She is greyer in the face, but I will always see her as that little puppy that saved my life.
Over the past decade I have been fortunate enough to do, meet, and experience some truly amazing people and things that would not have occurred if I had been successful that fateful Christmas Eve. There are too many people who have been there for me to name here. Two who have always been there for me are my roommate in Iraq Sean Moore, and an amazing guy John W who always answers, day or night, to help me, shoot the breeze, and talk about the world around us. To you, thank you for being there. To Sen Rand Paul and Sergio Gor, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving me a chance when politically speaking, due to my past, you shouldn’t have. It has meant the world to me, and I have shared my story with many Veterans who you have also helped by proxy. Both of you are caring compassionate people in a cruel world.
There is hope, there is a future, but only if you are here to experience it.
Lastly, I would like to extend sincere congratulations to my good friend Jack Buckby on his engagement today from the CPAC Family, we can’t wait to congratulate you and your lovely Fiancé in person. We met because I thought he looked like Harry Potter when I was intoxicated, he quickly became a good friend I don’t get to see in person but once a year.
To all my wife Olivia, my son Joey, my family, friends and readers, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and may the best of 2016 be the worst of 2017!
A wassailing I go….