EA Bucchianeri wrote in "Brushstrokes of a Gadfly" that art is in the eye of the beholder and everyone will have their interpretation. I've never read any books by Bucchianeri. But if I dropped that quote in the "right" circles (while holding a martini and wearing Italian loafers), I might be mistaken for an art collector. Or not.

I've never been good at pretending. I used to sculpt. Sports sculptures in bronze. Only once did I submit one of my sculptures for an "award." I got an honorable mention. A participation trophy. I anticipated losing but the winning sculpture was god-awful. "That won?!" I asked my wife. She was mortified that I said it loud enough for people in the gallery to hear. I picked up my bronze award and tossed it in the trash on the way out.

Art is subjective.

A photograph of the Rhine River sold for 4.3 million dollars ($4,300,000) at a 2011 Christies auction. The photograph by artist Andreas Gursky is titled” “Rhein II,” described as capturing “the silvery river, planked on either side by lush green grass under an overcast sky”. Here it is. It's a photo. Of the Rhine. That's it.

Then this happened at a Sotheby's auction in 2018; a "motif" titled “Girl with Balloon,” by street artist Banksy was auctioned. It was a plain piece of art. A silhouette of a girl and red heart-shaped balloon. It was spray painted on canvas. Sotheby Auction house auctioned it to for 1.4 million dollars. Once the gavel came down a shredding device built into the frame shredded the canvas. The stunned audience watched in horror. Banksy (If you have only one name you're considered super cool) quoted Picasso and said: “The urge to destroy is also a creative urge.”

“We’ve been Banksy-ed,” Alex Branczik, Sotheby’s head of European Contemporary art said in a press conference after the incident. “I’ll be quite honest, we have not experienced this situation in the past, where a painting is spontaneously shredded upon achieving a record for the artist.” 

An art critic at the Washington Post said the value of the art probably went up because it was shredded. Yeah, probably. 

On Wednesday, Sotheby auctioned a banana. 

At a Miami show, Maurizio Cattelan displayed a duct-taped banana in 2019. He did it again on Wednesday: 

....[He] got the last laugh as “Comedian” sold for $6.24 million, including $1 million in fees.

The buyer was soon revealed to be Justin Sun, a 34-year old cryptocurrency platform founder from China and based in Switzerland. Sun confirmed the purchase on his X feed, writing that it represented “a cultural phenomenon that bridges the worlds of art, memes, and the cryptocurrency community.”

“I believe this piece will inspire more thought and discussion in the future and will become a part of history,” Sun wrote, adding he would personally eat the banana “as part of this unique artistic experience, honoring its place in both art history and popular culture.”

A Sotheby’s executive, meanwhile, hailed the purchase as emblematic of someone seeking to address art’s biggest questions.

“How do you value what, for me at least, is one of the most brilliant ideas in the history of conceptual art,” David Galperin, Sotheby’s head of contemporary art for the Americas, said in a release. “And what better place to ask that question than in our salesroom, where tonight the answer came in at a resounding $6.2 million.”

My colleague Ward Clark wrote earlier in the week that the artwork was expected to fetch maybe a million dollars.

I'm announcing now that I am, heretofore to be known as "J. Just J. Each time you see one of my cartoons, you must Venmo me money. Below is my interpretation of Hunter Biden's art-grift. It's a compelling piece of art. I incorporated moments from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off," with social commentary and biting satire of the grift that kept grifting. You can duct tape it to a wall to enhance value.  

Please Venmo or send me cash or check before my art rots. Don't wait. You don't want to be stuck as a plebeian - do you? Overpay for art and advance your social status before it's too late.