Flying the unfriendly skies. 

Unless you’ve never been on an airplane, you have a story about a nightmare flight. Last month I was on a flight home. We landed on time, but the plane slowed and stopped within 200 feet of the terminal. There was no gate open so we waited. And waited. And waited. The pilot kept telling us “15 minutes,” but it ended up being an hour until a gate opened and we deboarded.  

I’ve had flights canceled and relayed for hours. Most of my flights have been uneventful. I’ve met and talked with a lot of nice people. Most people are nice. Some people are... not so nice. Almost two years ago, I wrote about a woman who got stuck in the middle seat, sandwiched between two very large people. She wanted to change seats, but the attendants wouldn’t let her. I was on a flight a few months ago. The plane was half full. My seat was in the last row. The row directly across from me was empty. A woman in the row in front of me was sitting next to another woman (both were a little heavy). She nicely asked the flight attendant if she could take a seat in the empty row. “No” was the curt answer from the attendant. After the attendant did her job serving the half-empty plane, she pulled out her lunch and sat in the empty row. She had refused a passenger permission to move because she wanted the row all to herself.  

And, not long ago we all were forced to wear useless masks in the airport and on flights. The science was pretty clear- masks were not needed on airplanes, but we were forced to wear them anyway. Well, not all the time, the virus was held in abeyance while we ate food. At the tail end of the COVID hysteria I was on a flight when a flight attendant stopped and stared at me like wolf stares at a sheep. When we made eye contact, he loudly demanded that I pull my mask over my nose. It was already over my nose but not sufficiently high for Herr Blücher. I complied, but not sufficiently for the Stalag guard. Loud enough for most of the plane to hear, he blasted, “We are going to have a problem!?” I had two choices. Either pull the mask up to the bridge of my nose or have federal agents show up and put me in cuffs. I chose the former.  

Terrell Davis is a retired NFL player and Hall of Famer. He was on a United Airlines flight over the weekend with his wife and three children, and this happened:  

Davis wrote on social media that he was flying on Saturday with his wife and three children when his son asked a flight attendant for ice. When the flight attendant did not respond, Davis says he lightly tapped the attendant’s arm to get his attention, and that the attendant shouted, “Don’t hit me” in response. 

Davis says he was confused by the reaction but thought it was over until the flight landed, when the pilot asked all passengers to remain seated while six law enforcement agents boarded the plane, handcuffed Davis and removed him. 

Davis says that once he explained to law enforcement what happened, they determined “that this flight attendant was inaccurate in his accusations” and apologized to him and let him go. 

On Tuesday, United Airlines reached out with this statement: 

“This is clearly not the kind of travel experience we strive to provide, and we have reached out to Mr. Davis’s team to apologize,” United said in a statement. “We have removed the flight attendant from duty while we closely review this matter.” 

I’ve been on plenty of flights with very nice attendants. But sometimes you get stuck on flights with nasty people who are on power trips, and unless you want to be cuffed and arrested, you have to take whatever you're dealt. 

One of my wife’s best friends is a retired attendant. My wife’s mom was a “stewardess” with TWA. They both have horror stories about unruly and/or drunk passengers. But seems to me that there is a balance that can be easily reached. Calling the Feds and having a passenger arrested for touching your arm isn't balanced. It's a power trip. 

Flying shouldn't feel like you are in prison waiting for the prison break.