Herman Grim is about to retire. He’s a rich man. At 64, he’s at the age where most Americans think about retirement and contemplate what to do next. Grim is about to bank $2,055,383 and he didn’t need to work for it; in fact, he did just the opposite. All Herman needed to do was fail. He was good at that. He failed a lot. Over and over, and over and over.

Grim was one of an estimated 5,200 people who took the test to become New York City teachers and never passed. In Grim’s case, he took it multiple times and repeatedly flunked. He was tutored and still never passed. He read prep books and couldn’t pass the test. Instead of it being a “Herman Grim problem,” it was a race problem.

Maybe Grim just wasn’t cut out to be a teacher? Maybe he lacked the intellect to be a teacher. Nah. It was racism. Lawyers saw a massive payday and oh boy, did it pay off. For Grim and the lawyers. Attorneys swooped in and filed a class action lawsuit claiming the test was discriminatory. New York settled the case in the waning days of former Mayor Bill DeBlasio’s administration and agreed to a $1.8 billion dollar payout. Billion. With a “B.” It is the largest settlement in the city’s history, and Grim is standing on the peak of that pile of money. Herman got the largest settlement because he was the most prolific failure.

Between 1994 and 2014, thousands of applicants failed to pass the teachers’ exam. The lawsuit alleged that the test was discriminatory because a “disparate” percentage of blacks and Latinos did not pass the test.

Fifty three percent of black applicants passed the test and 50 percent of Latinos. Ninety percent of white applicants passed. Kimba Woods, a federal court judge known as the “Love Judge” for multiple divorces and breaking up a marriage, as well as awful jurisprudence, found that requiring applicants to pass a Liberal Arts and Sciences Test to teach liberal art and science violated the Civil Rights Act of 1964. Wood said it was discriminatory because it was not an indicator of being a good teacher. The case passed through several other courtrooms with rulings in the city’s favor, but eventually, outgoing Mayor DeBlasio agreed to the settlement. Not surprising. Mayor Bill would find racism in a glass of milk, but he was the mayor, so pay up taxpayers.

To the tune of $1.8 billion.

The New York Post talked to Grim. While sitting in his home, with a low-battery smoke alarm irritatingly chirping in the background, Grim offered some brilliant insights into the settlement. He said:

I was getting mails (sic), actual mail in the mailbox from the lawyers and I literally ignored them, you know, then I started getting phone calls, and I wasn’t taking that serious(sic) and um it was nice, the lady, the lawyer said, very nice, they know that I wasn’t taking it serious (sic), you know just wasn’t taking it serious (sic). Why would, see, my, why would you tell me about law… poss…you know lawsuit (sic) either, go through or they won’t go through, you know, through reading, hearing news and all that stuff. And um, I know a couple of people that had…not in education, but they went through lawsuits and they, um, and they didn’t win or anything like that…so to, me it’s like….

Sorry, I couldn’t transcribe any more of it. I could feel grey matter seeping out of my ears. You’ll have to listen to the interview yourself. Grim, by any objective standard, does not project as a smart man. Yet he is the guy with the highest payout, apparently the standard bearer for the thousands who didn’t and could pass a test. Let’s be blunt. Grim wasn’t testing for a job for a city sanitation, bricklaying, or painting over graffiti job. He was applying for a job to teach children. To educate the next generation. Two minutes of listening to him, and it’s apparent — he didn’t and doesn’t belong in a classroom.

Gim, along with thousands of people who couldn’t pass an 80-question test, will be millionaires soon. Why? Because they failed. They failed and failed repeatedly, but in New York City, that means you weren’t treated fairly, so they will be paid handsomely for a job they never did and will collect pensions for a job they never held.

Good news. The lawyers only got $43 million dollars.