Meet Ace Biden.

The Original Lying Dogfaced Pony Soldier now has a new title. Ace Biden – fighter pilot legend equal to Pappy Boyington and Chuck Yeager. It’s a well-known fact in the Air Force that a Chinese Spy Balloon is worth five fixed-wing aircraft. God’s truth. It’s a fact, man.

Besides being birthed by a mother wolf, Joe and his brothers, Romulus and Remus, were raised by Puerto Ricans in the hard, gritty, oil-rained, and stained slums of Delaware. Joey is the only man to stand up to the dreaded gangsta Corn Pop. Joey Mumbles can now declare that he’s heretofore Ace Biden, F-22 pilot, and the only president to shoot down an invading Chinese horde with a single shot. It might not be equal to his son Beau – who died in Falluja fighting off North Koreans at the Alamo, but it’s close. A legend in his mind, Joey now claims that Trump let an airborne armada of Chinese spy balloons invade US airspace. God’s truth, man. It looked like the Chinese passing over the 38th parallel, except…no one saw them. ChiCom ghost balloons. What we do know, is the “former administration” did nothing about it. We all could have been speaking Mandarin had Joey not been elected president, with 2.4 billion votes.

Joey Genius, the only man who hit a home run in a Congressional Baseball Game without actually doing it, can clear things up pretty quickly. The dude who cribbed off of others’ work, like Billy Madison on speed, claims that Trump let the Chinese invade. Joe has the goods. Or, he doesn’t – but if it happened, there are photos. Show us the goods, Ace.