John Nance Garner, the country’s 32nd vice president and FDR’s first, is credited with saying that the vice presidency wasn’t “worth a bucket of warm spit.” Whether or not he actually said it is open for discussion, but the phrase seems to apply to most vice presidents and none more aptly than Joe Biden. Smart men accepted the nomination and regretted it. Nance was one of them.
Others had presidential ambitions and waited for their turn. John Adams was the first Veep and the second president. Adams knew that the office was nothing more than a placeholder, a spare wagon wheel. Often, veeps are picked to get a state’s electoral votes, and sometimes it’s just a head-scratcher. Biden was something of the latter.
Obama’s choice for vice president was a bit of a political calculation but Biden wasn’t picked for Delaware’s votes or for Biden’s smarts. Biden wasn’t worth a warm bucket of spit and Obama knew that. What Biden brought was what everyone knew of him. A little brain, a big mouth, shiny white teeth, and white skin. Biden “won” the nomination because he was the “why not” pick.
Biden was harmless Ol’ Joe. An anodyne and doddering dummy. A guy who fits the title of “warm bucket of spit” as few vice presidents had. The most consequential event of Obama’s two terms was the order to send DevGru SEALs to kill Bin Laden.
Who was the guy who thought the raid was a bad idea? Biden. Of course, Biden has lied about that too, claiming he never said “don’t go”.
Obama knew there was one constant of Biden. Biden had an uncanny ability to muck things up. When Biden left government in 2017, he wasn’t a former president with lifetime secret service protection, he was just another Joe. The second Trump took the oath of office, Joe was a private citizen. Sure he was still the “big guy,” the head of his crime syndicate family with his idiot kid laundering money for the family but there was no sense at all that anyone, besides his wife, wanted Biden to run for president.
The days of Biden being invited to sit in the corner as Obama and other men and women with command authority discussed matters of national security were over. His opinions weren’t valued even when he was vice president. In 2017, his usefulness as the presidential spare tire was at an end. As Biden was leaving his useless, bucket of spit office he loaded up a bunch of files and took them with him.
A year after he left government work, private citizen Joe Biden and the University of Pennsylvania opened an ironically titled “think tank” called the Penn Biden Center. It’s a “dark money” depository for foreign powers, predominately China. Located in an office space with no special “locks” or security and certainly not a SCIF (Secure Compartmented Information Facility) – that is where Biden left a file marked “personal.”
Biden might have considered it “personal” but it didn’t belong to a vice president, a former vice president, and certainly not private citizen Joe Biden. In that file was a classified document or documents. Recall that the Penn Biden Center wasn’t opened for over a year after Biden left office. In short, a classified document that Biden had no part in developing, no right to possess, no right to remove from the White House, and no right to take from a SCIF, had been placed in a file marked “personal” and then deposited it in a common file cabinet.
When Biden moved back home to Wilmington, his garage wasn’t a presidential library or a locked vault. It wasn’t guarded by armed secret service agents – it was a home garage of a former vice president. But like the Penn Biden Center, it was used as a classified document, repository. On Thursday, Biden was asked by Peter Doocy about his storage methods:
“Classified documents next to your Corvette? What were you thinking?”
Biden’s response was mind-numbing:
“I’m going to get the chance to speak on all of this, God willing it’ll be soon, but I said earlier this week — and by the way my Corvette is in a locked garage. It’s not like it’s sitting out in the street”
Biden’s media protectors claimed that it all could be a plant. I guess they imagine Donald Trump in a ninja suit and a balaclava mask lowering himself down into Joe’s Corvette and stuffing a classified document into the glove compartment. Mission Orange Man plant. Hank Johnson, famous for positing that Guam will capsize if too many people shift to one side of the island agreed. Yep – it might be a plant by the Orange Man in black. Mission Yuuuge.
According to Karine Jean-Pierre, everyone needs to calm down. Sure, Joe had feloniously removed classified documents that he had no right to ever have and he kept them for 6 years in either an office filing cabinet next to someone’s lunch or in a box next to his car – but don’t worry, it isn’t like, you know, he left classified documents on the street. They were locked.
Biden is a lying crook. He’s a demented malignant stain on America and as bad as his spare tire has proven to be, she isn’t this dopey old lying goon. Time to leave, Joe. Like, yesterday.
Related Cartoon here.