BREAKING: Omicron Will Melt Your Face Off!

Not really but…PANIC just the same. Omicron is here!

The new COVID variant may have been in Europe first, weeks ago. No reports of melted faces in Europe (likely the result of white privilege) but doctors in South Africa reported finding the variant. Those reports that South Africa caused countries around the globe to go into an all-to-familiar chicken little routine. The sky didn’t fall but travel from the “rainbow country” was halted.

The media reported that cases doubled in South Africa – IN ONE DAY! Doubled! PANIC! But while media and governments panicked, in the back of the room, South African doctors were raising hands to add more science stuff – like, available evidence indicates that the new variant is more transmissible but symptoms appear to be mild. How mild? Like, a cold mild. But that doesn’t mean stop the panic – PANIC!

With COVID, legacy media has one job and that job is to ensure more, PANIC! The editor of the Atlantic Nick Thompson (thankfully no relation) is an example. He tweeted his own PANIC warning notwithstanding that doctors were reporting mild reactions to omicron:

Thompson interviewed the new CEO of Twitter. Thompson a fan of the new thought cop dictator.

Back to today’s panic…

 The Hill’s warning lede this morning:

“Previous infection used to protect against delta and how with omicron it doesn’t seem to be the case.”

You can get COVID (omicron version) even if you’ve had COVID. PANIC! Wait… Isn’t that the case, with every variant? Kinda like, the flu?

Well, yeah – but it’s more transmissible! PANIC!

Ok, I just read the whole article. It doesn’t mention that South African doctors report mild symptoms and, I didn’t read a word about any increase in deaths or hospitalizations. It sounds like, if you’re gonna get COVID, maybe this is the variant you want?

Good God! You monster! It’s named OMICRON! PANIC!

I’m not suggesting that omicron won’t melt your face off. Maybe it will. I might get vaporized by a meteor today, but omicron seems more likely to give people with natural immunity and vaccinated folks a case of the chills. I’m sick of the panic porn. This new version of panic is like the old version of panic just with a different and scarier name. I might not be immune, but I have mild symptoms. They include some eye-rolling, and a desire to burn a cotton mask.

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