The world climate conference, known as COP26 and sponsored by the United Nations (that thing we pay for), ends in three days. You should feel better already. I do. Rainbows will appear and birds will chirp in harmony. Frogs will sing and a talking baboon will hold Kimba aloft.  I can’t wait for the day after the conference ends and we’re literally in a Disney movie. Literally. Or, maybe not.

China, the world’s biggest polluter by a long shot, didn’t show. It’s understandable. China is considered, in the parlance of our “betters,” a “developing nation”. I am not sure what they are developing. More nukes; definitely more pandemics.  Who knows? But we do know China isn’t developing any plans to reduce emissions. China signed the Paris Accord but hasn’t abided by it. It might after it “develops” a few hundred more coal-fired power plants. America pulled out of the Paris Accord during Trump’s reign of environmental terror, but we reduced pollution. Weird.

For nearly two weeks, Greta Thunberg has been screeching into a megaphone. She keeps screaming: “Blah Blah Blah!” I believe “Blah Blah Blah” is the 2021 version of “How Dare You?!”

It’s all a very successful junket for world leaders who make promises to fix something they cannot fix, and blame the USA and blame China, all while flying private planes; and blame the unwashed masses, while drinking expensive wine and munching expensive imported food. All to halt an increase in temperature that no one can feel.

Obama took a vacay from his 12 million dollar Matha’s Vineyard mansion to lecture everyone about reducing their carbon footprint, and to blame “non-sciencey” people and, of course, Trump. No one has ever seen Obama’s academic records so he might be the most sciencey-scientist ever. Heck, he was awarded a Nobel Prize for breathing so, maybe if he just stopped talking, greenhouse gasses would be reduced to pre-Columbian levels.  But if you doubt any of his gifts, you are a racist.

Today, COP26 hosted another environmental champion named “Little Amal.” Little Amal is a giant, 12-foot-tall, puppet. Little Amal, whose head is as empty as a balloon, “walked” into the conference, “looked” about the room, pretended to read screens and act like a real person. Her eyelids even started to close. The face – dead like a corpse. I know, it sounds like our president. With the help of Samoan “Climate Warrior,” the giant fake human lectured the world about rising seawater.

The UN seems to have adopted “fake” images to push climate change.  A few weeks ago, a fake CG dinosaur lectured the world at the general assembly in New York.  Two years ago, Geta Thunberg (at the time a 16-year-old), whose only expertise is a degree in Outrage, was allowed to lecture the world. “How Dare You?!” in 2021, it’s “Blah Blah Blah.”

Progress.