In a desperate attempt to remain relevant as Californians increasingly ignore his dictates, Gov. Gavin Newsom (D-PlumpJack Wines) announced this week that outdoor gatherings are now allowed in the state, subject to a few mandatory requirements.

Apparently, he missed all of the “gatherings” that have occurred daily in the state since late May.

The California Department of Health prefaced the gatherings with a hilarious reminder:

All individuals living in the State of California are currently ordered to stay home or at their place of residence, except for permitted work, local shopping or other permitted errands, or as otherwise authorized (including in the Questions & Answers below).

Hilarious. No one (even the SJW’s who continually complain about their maskless neighbors) has held to those guidelines since at least May.

⁦@GavinNewsom⁩ & Company assume all Californians have been just waiting for the greenlight to do this. The state is still under a “stay at home order“ as Gavin continues his emergency powers. Most Californians have been increasingly ignoring it all. And now this. Absurd. pic.twitter.com/nZNChn0ir8

— Mark Larson (@marklarsonradio) October 10, 2020

Of course, the state that can’t get unemployment payments to actual residents for six months but has spent millions paying fraudulent claims has somehow been able to come up with guidelines for every conceivable type of gathering. Seriously, this stuff is comedy gold. Check out the date of this exception:

On May 25, 2020, in an effort to balance First Amendment interests with public health, the State Public Health Officer created an exception to the prohibition against mass gatherings for faith-based services, cultural ceremonies, and protests. Those types of gatherings are now permitted indoors in counties in Substantial (red), Moderate (orange), and Minimal (yellow) tiers, subject to certain restrictions in those counties.

First Amendment interests were of no concern to the State Public Health Officer before that date, because the only protests that were occurring were those by people protesting the insane overreaching dictates of Gov. Newsom. Gee, what happened around May 25?

Weddings can now happen, but only outdoor, but you can’t have a reception. You must consult the Guidance for Places of Worship or Cultural Ceremonies, though. So, just call the whole thing a wedding, I guess?

Here are the “mandatory requirements” for outdoor gatherings:

• Attendees must be from no more than three separate households.
• Host must gather names and contact info for all attendees in case contact tracing is needed.
• Attendees can go inside to use the restroom, but restrooms must be frequently sanitized
• An “outdoor space” is defined as being “covered by umbrellas, canopies, awnings, roofs, and other shade structures provided that at least three sides of the space (or 75%) are open to the outdoors.”
• If you are at a gathering at a public park or other public space, and another gathering is nearby, people from one gathering cannot mix with people from the other gathering.
• During the gathering, people from one household must always be six feet away from people from another household.
• Guests should wash their hands frequently.
• The gathering cannot last for longer than two hours.
• No potlucks – all food served should be in single-serve containers and served by someone wearing a mask.
• A mask must be worn by all guests, but it can be removed to eat or to “meet urgent medical needs,” like taking a puff from an asthma inhaler.
• Singing, chanting, and shouting are strongly discouraged, and guests should wear a mask while singing, chanting, or shouting.
• Instrumental music is allowed, but the playing of wind instruments is discouraged.

Seriously, why are public health officials spending time making these guidelines – besides the fact that that’s what bureaucrats do? They don’t even make sense. How many times should one wash their hands during a two-hour gathering?

It doesn’t matter, though, because very few people are following these guidelines, and the infection rates are still steadily declining in the Golden State. Newsom should stick to begging Californians to stay.