Pearl-Clutching Lefties Aren't Happy About "Cocaine Mitch" Merchandise

Uploaded 5/9/19 by JVL, from @Tom_Hedrick twitter. Tweet included in story.

If leftists were smart, they would have learned a long, long time ago that while their powers of emotional manipulation are quite impressive, their ability to meme, troll, or otherwise social media is nearly non-existent. Their hashtag games work about as well as hashtag diplomacy. For some reason, their Twitter polls never end up with results even resembling the results of “scientific polls” they pay for. And, their attempts to meme-smear the right hilariously fail on the regular.


In the latest example, failed U.S. Senate candidate Don Blankenship (Former R-WV) will never live down his attempt to remake the man then nicknamed “Turtle” into a cartel kingpin.

Like the NHL’s Carolina Hurricanes, who’ve cashed in on incoherent Canadian Don Cherry’s (but I repeat myself, sorry Kira) “bunch of jerks” slam and used his condescension as fuel for their first playoff run in more than a decade), Mitch McConnell has turned Blankenship’s shady, well-placed hit piece around and made Blankenship a laughingstock. (Not difficult, to be sure.)

It started when Blankenship lost his race in May 2018 and Team Mitch sent an “aww, I’m sorry” tweet. (Blankenship wasn’t even running against McConnell, which makes it even funnier.)

When McConnell seemed to really grow a pair – ehh, a spine – during the Great Kavanaugh Confirmation Saga of 2018, the Cocaine Mitch legend took on new life. McConnell even gained a sidekick – Cocaine Lindsey Graham. One of the funniest things about the Adventures of Cocaine Mitch and Cocaine Lindsey is the irony of it all. Two men who have been known to, well, easily surrender instead of charging into the fight suddenly woke up and said, “IDGAF.”


Apparently McConnell decided that no one, no one, would call him Turtle ever again.

As our own Sister Toldjah covered, this week Team Mitch started selling “Cocaine Mitch” t-shirts on the campaign website, a picture of McConnell on the front and the words “Cartel Member” on the back. At last check, they were selling like hotcakes.

Acting like the humorless scolds they are, Che-shirt leftists were suddenly up in arms that anyone might promote cocaine running. One can only call Mitch McConnell a drug runner when they say so!

People who are okay with giving needles to addicts and allowing actual cartel members to cross our borders with impunity, many of whom couldn’t find Kentucky on a map and certainly have never expressed a positive opinion of its citizens, suddenly care about the state’s drug “epidemic.” (Note: Every state is dealing with a drug epidemic.)


Sigh. One of the architects of hashtag diplomacy weighed in.

In reply, Team Mitch pwned Conrad.

Quick, Team Mitch – while attempting to tie McConnell to the “Chan crowd,” they’ve given you another priceless opportunity to market. “Old Dork Meme Lord,” oh my.

These new rules… they’re kinda fun.

Let’s hope they’re as effective for other conservatives as they’ve been for Donald Trump and Mitch McConnell. At least C-list candidates might think twice before trying to place shady oppo in “The nation.”


Jennifer Van Laar is Deputy Managing Editor at RedState. Follow her on Twitter or Facebook.


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