The following is satire. It didn’t happen. We should not have to say this, but for the biased “fact checkers,” we do.
Washington, D.C. – A group of high-profile Democrats and members of the activist media have sent an open letter to President Joe Biden asking him to formally redefine the term “human trafficking” in order to apply it to Republican governors who have resorted to busing illegal aliens to blue cities. The move comes after Texas Gov. Greg Abbott sent two busloads of illegals to Vice President Kamala Harris’ home and Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis flew 50 individuals to Martha’s Vineyard, where white progressives virtue signal from on high about how much they care about brown people coming over the border.
“We have been using the term ‘human trafficking’ to describe Abbott’s actions, but we just realized that the label is not accurate,” the letter read. “Normally, we don’t care whether a label is applicable as long as we can use it to smear these racist Republicans, but in this case, we believe it necessary to alter the legal definition to put a stop to this nonsense.”
The Democrats who penned the letter pointed out that if the Justice Department and Homeland Security redefined the word in a way that would make the transportation of illegal aliens to blue cities a crime, they could potentially seek criminal charges instead of just lying about the whole thing.
“Perhaps the executive branch could include busing migrants to Democrat-run areas of the country in its definition. This would give us a way to threaten Govs. Abbott, DeSantis, and Ducey with criminal action if they keep forcing us to deal with these people flooding our cities,” the letter read. “Instead of us just lying about human trafficking, we can change the definitions so that our lies become truth. That’ll show ‘em!”
A Democratic staffer who spoke on condition of anonymity was asked by reporters about the fact that President Biden had been shipping illegals all over the country in the dead of night. The staffer indicated that this type of change would not apply when it concerns the president.
“No, see, when WE shuttle these migrants all over the place, we’re doing it in a GOOD way,” he insisted. “When Republicans do it, they are just being racist and xenophobic. Therefore, that means it’s human trafficking.”
This move comes as prominent leftists still insist that moving illegal aliens to blue areas of the country constitutes human trafficking even though a simple Google search shows that this is not the case, hence the reason Democrats wish to change the meaning of the term.
“I’m hoping the White House will be open to our suggestions. We can’t keep having these Central Americans showing up in our neighborhoods. It’s just exhausting,” the staffer sighed. “Isn’t that what border towns are for?”
The White House could not be reached for comment.