6th-Grader 'Harold Phillip Stemp' Reporting:

Harold Phillip Stemp

This is 6th grader Harold Phillip Stemp reporting from Mr. Murryhill’s class in Bellmore N.Y.

It’s a nice day here. We have a new fish in the class and his name is ‘Trump’… just like the president.


My dad voted for Trump the president, but my mom didn’t. They had a big fight about it and mom kept yelling at my dad. Something about it’s disgusting how anyone could brag about grabbing a cat, or something. My dad loves our cat so I think my mom was a little kooky that night. She gets kooky sometimes.

We went to a restaurant the other night and dad started cursing at the TV that was in the bar area. It was kinda weird I guess. The MSNBC channel was on. My dad hates that channel. He said that Rachel Maddow is a big stupid …. well he said a bad word (after stupid). I can’t write it down now because Mr. Murryhill likes MSNBC, and I think even Rachel Maddow.

Mr. Murryhill has a “Ready For Hillary” bumper sticker on his car. At least he used to have one. I think somebody drew on it with a marker then tore it off. My dad used to curse a little when he saw Mr. Murryhill’s car at the school drop-off, but I don’t think my dad  is the one that tore the bumper sticker off. I think it might have been my gym teacher, Mr. Provost.

I think it was him because Mr. Provost is a really big guy and he wears a red “Make America Great Again” hat to school everyday. You know that one that looks too big on your head. Our principal Mrs. Beakoff told him he couldn’t wear it to school anymore because it wasn’t fair to us kids. I don’t know why she said that. We didn’t care at all.


Mr. Provost laughed at the principal and said something like “spin on it, I got tenure.” I don’t really know what that means, but I think it was something funny because Mr. Provost started pointing at Mrs. Beakoff and laughing real loud. Mrs. Beakoff covered her mouth and ran off back to her office. I guess she was laughing too but didn’t want anyone to see. She’s got funny teeth so maybe she was just trying to cover them up.

We have a sociology lesson on Tuesdays and Thursdays. My dad asks what our teacher is teaching us and sometimes he gets mad. He got really mad when we had to learn about all the new different genders and stuff. We all think it’s weird because in biology they didn’t teach us that at all. Just two kinds of genders. Dad said something about not wanting his taxes “paying for a bunch of leftist hooples teaching my kid”.  There were a couple of bad words in there too. I just cleaned it up a bit. I don’t know what a hoople is, but I think my dad thinks Mr. Murryhill is one.

We have lunch in a few minutes. I like lunch. All the guys at my table are my good pals. Some of their parents also fought about Trump and Hillary. I think some of the other dads might have even voted for Hillary.  My dad said any man that voted for Hillary was a… well, a donkey. He used that other word for a donkey though. He also said that some of my pal’s dads could be one of those other genders Mr. Murryhill taught us about. So, I guess my Dad kind of agrees with Mr. Murryhill sometimes. That’s nice.


Ok, I got to go, it’s lunchtime.


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