Bill Kristol Penned a Nasty 'Merry Impeach-mas' Poem, And Then I Responded With One of My Own

 

Twitchy published a poem on Wednesday morning written by rabid Never-Trumper Bill Kristol entitled “Merry Impeach-mas,” in which he channels Clement Clarke Moore’s famous poem, “A Visit from St. Nicholas.

Merry Impeach-mas by Bill Kristol

‘Twas the day of impeachment and all through the House
No Republican was rebelling, each was a mouse;
Then out on the floor there arose a clatter;
I sprang to my feet to see what was the matter.
And to my wondering eyes–oh forsooth!
A few brave Republicans speaking the truth…

“Now, Kinzinger! now Thornberry! now Upton! and Rooney!
None willing any longer to yield to the looneys.
Shout it from the porch! proclaim it from the wall!
The Republican Party isn’t hopeless after all!
Of Donald Trump’s guilt they eloquently spoke…
Then, alas, I awoke.

Happy Election Day by Elizabeth Vaughn

In the year 2020, November the third.
Over at Bulwark, no words could be heard.
Bill Kristol hunched over his desk for the night.
He realized he’d once again lost the great fight.
How could this have happened with all his hard work?
And how did he get to be such a big jerk?

Has there been some mistake? This just couldn’t be real.
His editorials would certainly seal this raw deal.
Trump won Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Ohio
Minnesota, Michigan and yes, Colorado.
He’d thrown everything at him, Bill thought with a sigh.
Impeachment, the scandals, I really did try.

Alas, another four years.