Welcome back to another installment of the Watercooler, RedState’s daily Open Thread! Today, we’ve got… well, with the tension of yesterday I thought we could use a little levity, so I’m passing along a little humor forwarded to me by an old friend from my college days. Thanks, Top K.!

Newlyweds

After the honeymoon, Tom was welding some stuff in the garage for fun. His new wife was standing there by the bench watching him. After a long period of silence she finally said: “Honey, I’ve just been thinking; now that we are married, maybe you don’t need to spend so much of your time out here in your garage and could consider selling some of your machinery and stuff… like your gun collection, fishing gear, boat, and lose all those stupid model airplanes. And sell that vintage hot rod sports car, and dump that home brewing kit…”

Tom got a horrified look on his face and silently stared at her.. She said, “Darling, what’s wrong?”

He replied, “Nothing…but for a minute there, you were starting to sound like my ex-wife.”

“Ex-wife!?” she screamed, “YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!”

Tom replied, “I wasn’t….”

Why I Quit Fishing

Saturday morning I got up early, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck, & proceeded to back out into a torrential down pour. The wind was blowing 50 mph.

I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, & discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, & slipped back into bed. There I cuddled up to my wife’s back, now with a different anticipation, & whispered, ‘The weather out there is terrible.’

My loving wife of 20 years replied. “Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that crap?”

I still don’t know to this day if she was joking, but I have stopped fishing.

Last Night on RedState Slack

If you’re not on RedState Slack, you missed one heck of an Election Night Live Chat! A whole bunch of members monitoring our own preferred news sources, commenting on them and pitching in observations on things with our own local perspectives. As TonySC describes it,

“So, one thing I found was great that we had people listening to different channels and looking at different states and updating everyone in real time. Following FL, IN, MO, and even MI and having people that knew enough to keep us level headed by pointing out what hasn’t, or has, reported and what it means was great for me. … The fact that once polls started closing one after another and worked their way across the nation and we had people looking at pretty much everything was great.”

Here’s your invitation to the party if this sounds fun for next time.

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This Week In History

• Sunday, 11/4: Battle of Johnsonville, 1864; Tut’s tomb discovered, 1922; Iranian terrorists storm US Embassy, 1979
• Monday, 11/5: Washington denounces Guy Fawkes events, 1775; Lincoln fires McClellan, 1862; Nixon elected, 1968; Foreman oldest heavyweight champ, 1994
• Tuesday, 11/6: Cabeza de Vaca discovers Texas, 1528; John Carroll named first US Catholic bishop, 1789; Lincoln elected President, 1860; T.R. visits Panama, 1906
• Wednesday, 11/7: Battle of Tippecanoe, 1811; Battle of Belmont, 1861; “Galloping Gertie” bridge collapse, 1940
• Thursday, 11/8: Trent Affair, 1861; X-rays discovered, 1895; first all-jet dogfight, 1950; Gingrich’s Republican Revolution, 1994
• Friday, 11/9: Pilgrims sight Cape Cod, 1620; Sumter’s Patriots repel Redcoat-Tory surprise attack, 1780; Hawaii grants US rights to Pearl Harbor, 1887
• Saturday, 11/10: USMC founded, 1775; Stanley finds Livingston, 1871; Hope Diamond donated to Smithsonian, 1958; wreck of Edmund Fitzgerald, 1975

Today’s Birthdays: Canal and railroad builder Alfred Kelley, 1789; Cornell U cofounder Andrew Dickson White, 1832; musician Johnny Rivers, 1942.

Holidays Around the World: Northern Catalonia observes National Day, Tunisia celebrates Commemmoration Day and Hungary has Hungarian Opera Day.

This Week In History is compiled with assistance from History.com and Wikipedia. Something interesting not listed here? Please share in the Comments section–this is an Audience Participation Encouraged featurette.

Gratuitous Gun Giveaways

• *American Handgunner magazine, for a Sig-Sauer P320-M17 pistol, Kahr ST9 pistol or SCCY CPX-3 pistol package (CPX-3 ends TODAY!): http://americanhandgunner.com/giveaway/
• *Guns Magazine, for a pair of Taurus G2C 9mm pistols, SIG M400 Tread rifle, CZ CZ82 pistol, or 6.5 Creedmoor Ruger Precision Rifle: http://gunsmagazine.com/giveaway/
• Davidson’s Gallery of Guns, for a Savage 110 Tactical Desert 6.5 Creedmoor or Savage 110 Wolverine .450 Bushmaster bolt-action rifle: https://ggg.galleryofguns.com/
• GrabAGun, for a Walther PPQ M2 Q4 TAC 9mm pistol: http://grabagun.com/giveaway

*Note: FMG Publishing giveaways require you to provide an FFL dealer’s info at entry.

Public Service Announcement for “Sanctuary State” Residents
If you would like to report illegal aliens, please call Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) at 1-866-DHS-2ICE (347-2423). They will need to know names, locations (either work place or residence) and any other specific information you can provide. Visit http://www.ice.gov for more information.

Quote of the Day

Be a craftsman in speech that thou mayest be strong, for the strength of one is the tongue, and speech is mightier than all fighting.

—Ptahhotep, Maxims, 3400 B.C.

As always, the Watercooler is an Open Thread. And as so eloquently coined by ntrepid, “Thanks for the click! Your effort helps fund future posts of this nature.”

Copyright Diamondback, 2018; publication license granted exclusively to RedState. If you’re reading this anywhere BUT RedState, you are seeing STOLEN PROPERTY. Opinions expressed in the preceding piece are solely those of the author and in no way reflect on those of the staff, advertisers, management or owners of RedState, Townhall Media or Salem Communications.

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