Welcome back to another installment of the Watercooler, RedState’s daily Open Thread! Today, we’ve got a mess, a WC that’s gonna have to be a lot less “me” and a lot more “y’all” because I’m having to help wheelchair my mother through Jury Duty this week. (Also, my apologies for last week’s AWOL.)

1.7 Billion Dollar Jackpot… What Would YOU Do?

With this week’s big jackpot at a near- if not record 1.7 billion dollars, I thought it might be fun to explore the question of what we’d do if we won. Assumptions:

• The lump sum cuts the winnings in half at best.
• You can expect to lose about forty to fifty percent of whatever you get in taxes right off the top.
• There are only eight states where lottery winnersaren’t automatically doxxed-by-press-conference as a condition of accepting the prize. (That “Winner grants sponsor right to use name and likeness” line in the rules.)

So, here’s what I’d do with a jackpot like this…

1. Before claiming, have my financial advisor and tax accountant get together with a wealth-management attorney to build a Family Trust.
2. Establish a temporary “burner” residence and phone number that will be abandoned upon completion of claim/receipt, cheap studio apartment and prepaid cell. This way, the doxxers get nothing useful.
3. Have the attorney claim the prize for the Trust as a lump sum; cash-in-hand beats a promise of credit that may or may not be delivered and even if it is may only be spread over your grave. Structure it into investments for best tax benefit.
4. Get the practical stuff squared away first: a house in a Red State with mild winters, new vehicles for the three of us (practical, nothing fancy unless you count mine being a ’97 Mercedes M-class outfitted like the ones in The Lost World and refit to address the early models’ teething difficulties; woulda been a ’93 Explorer XLT but Jerry Miculek’s kids beat me to literally the last available bullbar in the world to do one of those right), lay in appropriate provisions of emergency supplies, professional help to pack and relocate both households.
5. Time to have The Talk with my beloved; if she’s as serious about me as I am her, start her and her parents on the road to Green Cards and help with her and her father’s medical expenses. All further answers assume she responds favorably to this Decision Point.
6. In light of her being as unwilling to give up residence in her country as I am mine, build a second home in the BC mountains. If it meets her parents’ approval, cover their relocation costs and the travel expenses if they desire to join us in “border hopping”.
7. Get back on the road to my Masters and Doctorate, and pay GF’s way through one degree in any course of study she chooses.
8. Now that the practicals are taken care of, take maybe 5-10% of what’s left to split between the Trustees for “fun stuff” like family vacations, new stuff/hobbies and so forth–making sure that enough is set aside as Principal that even after capital-gains taxes each of us has a comfortable income to live off the dividends. After that, maybe some charitable contributions like celiac research, Second Amendment advocacy and lawfare, historical societies/museums and the like. Particularly including a chunk to run down the ownership of New York Central 3001 in Elkhart, Indiana and arrange with them to get one of the largest surviving artifacts of the old family business rolling under her own power again.

Now that I’ve shown you mine, it’s your turn to show me your “What Would You Do?” list…

This Week In History… and Last

• Sunday, 10/14: Patriots defeat Tories at Shallow Ford, 1780; Battle of Bristoe Station, 1863; Cuban Missile Crisis begins, 1962
• Monday, 10/15: Redcoats turned back at Middleburgh, 1780; CSS Hunley sunk for second time, 1863; Gretzky breaks NHL career-score record, 1989
• Tuesday, 10/16: Peoria Speech reignites Lincoln’s political career, 1854; Brown raids Harper’s Ferry, 1859; Luby’s Massacre sparks CCW debate, 1991
• Wednesday, 10/17: Victory at Saratoga, 1777; Texas Rangers formally established, 1835; Capone sent to the Big House, 1931
• Wednesday’s Birthdays: Law-dictionary founder Henry Campbell Black, 1860; Superman cocreator Jerry Siegel, 1914; actress Rita Hayworth, 1918; cycle stuntman Evel Knievel, 1948.
• Thursday, 10/18: US takes possession of “Seward’s Folly,” 1867, and Puerto Rico, 1898; Halsey named to command in South Pacific, 1942; “Mr. October” hits three homers on three swings, 1977
• Friday, 10/19: Surrenders of Burgoyne, 1777 and Cornwallis, 1781; Sutro begins tunneling to drain water flooding Comstock Lode, 1869;
• Saturday, 10/20: Congress creates Continental Assoc., 1774; MacArthur’s “I Have Returned,” 1944; Reds in Hollywood probed, 1947
• Sunday, 10/21: “Old Ironsides” launched, 1797; Battle of Ball’s Bluff, 1861; Guggenheim Museum opens, 1959
• Monday, 10/22: John Bell Hood retreats to Guntersville, AL, 1864; Pretty Boy Floyd bagged by FBI, 1934; JFK reveals Soviet missiles in Cuba, 1962
• Tuesday, 10/23: Fort Mifflin, PA fights off British fleet, 1777; Battle of Westport, 1864; Beirut embassy bombing, 1983
• Wednesday, 10/24: Curtain falls on Houdini for final time, 1926; Battle of the Sibuyan Sea, 1944; USAF launches abortive Dyna-Soar reusable-spacecraft project, 1957
• Thursday, 10/25: USS United States takes HMS Macedonian, 1812; Battle of Leyte Gulf, 1944; invasion of Grenada, 1983
• Friday, 10/26: Franklin goes to France, 1776; Erie Canal opens, 1825; OK Corral gunfight, 1881; Pan Am places Boeing 707 in revenue service, 1958
• Saturday, 10/27: Philadelphia established, 1682; West Florida annexed, 1810; Reagan’s “Time For Choosing,” 1964

Today’s Birthdays: G-man Melvin Purvis, 1903; father of “flying banana” rotorcraft Frank Piasecki, 1919; author-educator Stephen Covey, 1932; NASCAR driver Brian Vickers, 1983.

Holidays Around the World: Zambia celebrates Independence Day and Egypt observes Suez Day. It’s also United Nations Day and World Polio Day.

This Week In History is compiled with assistance from History.com and Wikipedia. Something interesting not listed here? Please share in the Comments section–this is an Audience Participation Encouraged featurette.

Gratuitous Gun Giveaways

• *American Handgunner magazine, for a Kahr ST9 pistol or SCCY CPX-3 pistol package: http://americanhandgunner.com/giveaway/
• *Guns Magazine, for a SIG M400 Tread rifle, CZ CZ82 pistol, 6.5 Creedmoor Ruger Precision Rifle or North American Arms NAA-22 .22LR derringer: http://gunsmagazine.com/giveaway/
• Davidson’s Gallery of Guns, for a Howa M1500 APC American Flag or M1500 HS Precision 6.5 Creedmoor bolt-action rifle: https://ggg.galleryofguns.com/
• Aero Precision, for a custom AR15: http://gvwy.io/7jtoyng
• GrabAGun, for a Panzer Arms BP-12 detachable-magazine bullpup 12ga. shotgun: http://grabagun.com/giveaway

*Note: FMG Publishing giveaways require you to provide an FFL dealer’s info at entry. Aero Precision giveaways give me one entry each per person who uses my referral link.

RedState Slack – Realtime Chat and Private Messaging for the VRWC

Several of us commenters put heads together to address some longstanding desires for features the Disqus platform lacks like private user-to-user messaging, and we’ve started up a Slack server for private messaging and chat. If you’d like to join the fun Slacking Off after hours, your invitation to the party is here.

RedState Slack is not officially endorsed or authorized by the staff, advertisers, management or ownership of RedState, Townhall Media or Salem Communications. It is intended to complement the RedState Disqus comment platform, not compete with it. While we have made every reasonable effort to provide a secure platform, user assumes all risks.

Public Service Announcement for “Sanctuary State” Residents
If you would like to report illegal aliens, please call Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) at 1-866-DHS-2ICE (347-2423). They will need to know names, locations (either work place or residence) and any other specific information you can provide. Visit http://www.ice.gov for more information.

Quote of the Day

Words of wisdom aptly describing the neo-Jacobins we’re dealing with today…

You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you.–Eric Hoffer

As always, the Watercooler is an Open Thread. And as so eloquently coined by ntrepid, “Thanks for the click! Your effort helps fund future posts of this nature.”

Copyright Diamondback, 2018; publication license granted exclusively to RedState. If you’re reading this anywhere BUT RedState, you are seeing STOLEN PROPERTY. Opinions expressed in the preceding piece are solely those of the author and in no way reflect on those of the staff, advertisers, management or owners of RedState, Townhall Media or Salem Communications.

Tip Jar – If you like what you read here, please consider hitting one of these and further funding my modest little effort. Thanks! 🙂

• 1-800-Guns And Ammo: http://i.refs.cc/ov8iWvDx?u=1522834489762 – You get 5% off your first order, I get 75 Rewards Points. (~$7.50 store credit)
• Dvor: https://www.dvor.com/s/8l190b – I get $10 in store credit after your first order ships.
• Star Citizen computer game: https://robertsspaceindustries.com/enlist?referral=STAR-JRY4-Z754 – You get 5000 credits for the in-game store, and if you buy a $40 game package I get a Recruitment Point toward some cool stuff. (Next goal: 5 more RP’s to a free ship.)