#NeverTrumpNeverKasichEVERWelcome back to another installment of the Watercooler, RedState’s daily Open Thread! Today, we’ve got…

Target Boycott Pledge Update

The hits just keep on comin’… we’re north of 800,000 signers on the “No Target” pledge.

Separated at Birth, or Unholy Resurrection?

After the weekend’s antics from #LiarLePage, I got to thinking, and the photo Streiff posted of the bloated, bespectacled, bloviating bag of B.S. bore a strong similarity to someone rather appropriate given the “WWF Cage Match” of this campaign. Could Paul LePage really be creepy “funeral director from Hell” Paul Bearer, risen from the grave? (LePage above, Bearer below)

Discussion Fodder: Kasich VP Pick?

Over the weekend our own Blue_State_Refugee suggested an Open Thread to help the Gollum-ized Newman we know as John Kasich out with picking a Vice Presidential nominee, so I thought opening the question here might yield some discussion fodder. If #FlushTheJohn came to YOU for a Veep recommendation, who would YOU suggest? Assuming we hold the House, I’m thinking Arnold Schwarzenegger for one laughably simple reason: he’s ineligible for the Line of Succession, which immediately moves filling any vacancy to the Speaker of the House. Or maybe luaPnoR or Alex Jones or some other certifiable whackjob as “Impeachment Insurance” like Biden… There are really several angles we could  take this from.

• Who benefits Kasich most getting his Drag Queen Democrat agenda through?
• Who shows him most for the insane, evil clown he is?
• And so on…

From the “We Can’t Make This S*** Up” Files…

• From funeral parlor to ice-cream parlor? Believe it.
• Police dogs, maybe police cats, but a police squirrel? Omaha has one with a Twitter following… well, had one. RIP, OPDSquirrel.
• Helpful hint, folks, drive-thrus are not for tractors… especially if you’re trying to rob a bank.

This Week In History

• Sunday, Apr. 24: Fall of Troy, 1184 BC; Library of Congress established, 1800; Buffalo Bill hires Annie Oakley, 1885; Hubble Space Telescope launched, 1990
• Monday, Apr. 25: Texas border dispute opens Mexican-American War, 1846; declaration of war with Spain, 1898; integrated circuit patented, 1961
• Tuesday, Apr. 26: Jamestown founders land, 1607; Booth killed, 1865; ‘unofficial’ first flight of A-12 Blackbird, 1964; Chernobyl disaster, 1986
• Wednesday, Apr. 27: Battle of Ridgefield, 1777; “Shores of Tripoli,” 1805; York (now Toronto) captured, 1813; cash bounty posted for defecting MiGs, 1953; WTC reconstruction begins, 2006
• Thursday, Apr. 28: Maryland ratifies Constitution, 1788; Mutiny on the Bounty, 1789; Occupation of Japan ends, 1952; spy Aldrich Ames pleads guilty, 1994
• Friday, Apr. 29: Farragut takes New Orleans, 1862; US forces liberate Dachau, 1945; evacuation of Saigon, 1975; LA Riots, 1994; Oldsmobile ends production, 2004
• Saturday, Apr. 30: Columbus granted Spanish commission, 1492; Washington takes Presidential oath, 1789; Louisiana Purchase, 1803; media break Abu Ghraib photos, 2004

Today’s Birthdays: President Ulysses S. Grant, 1822; pin-up artist George Petty, 1894; actor Jack Klugman, 1922; fraudster-turned-security consultant Frank Abagnale, 1948

This Week In History is compiled with assistance from History.com and Wikipedia. Something interesting not listed here? Please share in the Comments section–this is an Audience Participation Encouraged featurette.

Behind the Scenes at the Watercooler

It has occurred to me that some folks might like a look behind the scenes at how one of these goes together. I can’t speak for anybody else, but I can share my own process, which also offers the benefit of a “How To” in case I ever need anybody to fill in or me. The party starts Sunday afternoon or evening with copying a pre-built template into a new Diary entry, then looking up that week’s dates at Wikipedia, and selecting three or four for each day and a handful of birthdays. (This part really is harder than it sounds, cutting it down to just a handful of entries, even with me trying to focus on landmarks in national, military or tech history.) From there, it’s onward to local news-aggregator Orbusmax’s “Weird/Funny/Odd” section looking for quirky stories. Monday and Tuesday as I have time I go out to Townhall’s Tipsheet, Bearing Arms and a few other places; in light of my digitally-isolated home office the whole mess has to either be tied up in a bow before I log off Tuesday afternoon, or need at most a half-hour’s work when I logon again Wednesday morning. Once it’s up, onward to take a breather, and then other than flagging this of interest to keep an eye on it’s in the bag until Sunday night and time to start the process all over again.

Quote of the Day

Selected for its prescient description of Trumpkin skulls…

Don’t spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door.–Coco Chanel

As always, the Watercooler is an Open Thread. Hope you found something appetizing, and don’t forget to add your own dishes to the potluck table!

Re today’s signoff colors: It came to a tie, so I’m waiting for the Superdelegate (read: “She Who I Hope To Grow Old With”) vote to come in as a tiebreaker.

#NoQuarter