#NeverTrumpWelcome back to another installment of the Watercooler, RedState’s daily Open Thread! Today, we’ve got…

A Personal Thought

Gentle readers, I beg your indulgence for a moment here, but I’d like to dedicate today’s Watercooler to the one I hope to grow old with, 45 years young yesterday and still “Has It” every bit as much as many women half her age. Happy Birthday, love!

Quick Hits

• Textbooks too dry for you? Houghton Mifflin and XKCD to the rescue… though I despair at what it’ll do to our literacy levels.
• If you’re gonna try your hand at Armed Robbery… DON’T use a squirt gun.
• Speaking of Dumb Criminals… Dumb: Stealing a BMW from the dealership with no gas money. Dumber: trying to buy it with FOOD STAMPS first.
• Feel like taking a friend to dinner? Better not if your friend’s a 13-foot python.

Something for Your Trumpkin Troubles

Dealing with Trumpkins and their Standard Issue Butthurt getting tiresome? Here’s something that might help, courtesy of Max Velocity Tactical–just tell ’em to fill this out and mail it off to their Dearest Ducking Donald.

And, my friends, if the answers to all seven questions in the middle isn’t “Yes,” it means we’re not doing our jobs properly demoralizing these reprehensible reprobates. Printable version at http://a.disquscdn.com/uploads/mediaembed/images/963/3512/original.jpg . Enjoy Responsibly!

This Week In History

• Sunday, Mar. 20: Great Boston Fire, 1760; Uncle Tom’s Cabin published, 1852; Einstein publishes General Theory of Relativity, 1915; MacArthur’s “I Shall Return” speech, 1942; Libby Riddles first woman to win Iditarod, 1985
• Monday, Mar. 21: Dayton Flood, 1913; Lindbergh awarded Medal of Honor, 1928; Alcatraz closed, 1963; Moscow Olympic boycott and “Who Shot J.R.?”, 1980
• Tuesday, Mar. 22: Stamp Act, 1765; first US state governor (William W. Holden, NC) impeached, 1871; Schawlow & Townes patent laser, 1960; Intel ships first Pentiums, 1993
• Wednesday, Mar. 23: “Give Me Liberty or Give Me Death!,” 1775; Theodore Roosevelt starts post-Presidential safari, 1909; Battle of Nasiriyah first major engagement of Iraqi Freedom, 2003
• Thursday, Mar. 24: Quartering Act, 1765; Mormon founder Joseph Smith tarred and feathered, 1832; ground broken on NYC subway, 1900; The Great Escape, 1944; Exxon Valdez spill, 1989
• Friday, Mar. 25: Coxey’s Army marches for Washington, 1894; Triangle Shirtwaist Fire, 1911; first operational Shuttle delivered to Kennedy Space Center, 1979
• Saturday, Mar. 26: “Gerrymandering” coined, 1812; Iwo Jima secured, 1945; Egypt-Israel peace treaty, 1979; Vietnam Veterans Memorial groundbreaking, 1982

Today’s Birthdays: 17th US VP Schuyler Colfax, 1823; spaceflight guru Wernher von Braun, 1912; Liquid Paper inventor Bette Nesmith Graham, 1924; sci-fi author Kim Stanley Robinson, 1952; actress Keri Russell, 1976

This Week In History is compiled with assistance from History.com and Wikipedia. Something interesting I missed here? Please share in the Comments section–this is an Audience Participation Encouraged feature.

Cookbook Capers

We’re back to the $5 grocery-store checkout rack this time with Dump Soups, one of Publications International’s 17-a-year “Favorite Brand Name Recipes” line. Not a lot in this 96-pager, but if you’re looking for something quick and easy (simple as dump ingredients in pot and simmer, some recipes as little as ten minutes)  there’s a good chance you’ll find something among the 45 recipes in here to warm your heart.

Forwarded from the Boss Lady: Help Wanted, Inquire Within

TNgal asked me to pass this along:

Not getting enough Trump in your diet?  How about filling up the Water Cooler one day a week? You read a few stories then you write a few blurbs. It’s pretty simple. Ok, they don’t have to be about Trump. Just things that you find interesting and others may as well. If you’ve written a diary you can handle this. Plus, it’s an unpaid gig, so you don’t have to worry about tax forms and extra cash cluttering your bank account. We need a couple people. Just drop this line down below, “I’ll be your water carrier”. Someone will be along to probe you in a bit.

Quote of the Day

Todays QOTD comes to us from Mitt Romney, brought to our attention by our own WalterNC:

“Donald Trump has had several foreign wives. It turns out that there are really are jobs Americans won’t do.”

As always, the Watercooler is an Open Thread. Something on your mind? Sound Off here! Today’s Watercooler is a little short because I’d like to share the stage with you all rather than hog the limelight myself. 🙂

#CruzToVictory