Being as I am from the great state of Alabama, one of the brutal taskmasters/mistresses from the RedState brain trust, command group, and editorial team kindly asked if I might render a report/opinion regarding Senator Doug Jones’ speech at the Democrat brouhaha tonight. Although I’m unusually averse to pain, especially the self-inflicted type, I agreed to give it a go.

Being a betting man, I was going to wager Her Majesty Queen Teresa, regarding what she thought Jones was going to say. The look I got was enough to convey a significant air of disinterest. So, I thought I would have to wager with myself.

The first thing I had to figure out is what portion of Jones’ speech would be devoted to shoring up Ol’ Lunchbucket Joe and which part he would reserve to boost his almost invisible chance for his own reelection on the same ballot this November. For those of you who have the misfortune to NOT be a resident of this awesome state, let me fill you in on the back story.

When President Trump picked Senator Jeff Sessions as his (ultimately ineffective) Attorney General, that left a vacancy which had to be filled by special election. Doug Jones won that special election, first Democrat in 25 years. This whole debacle was largely due to the machinations of Mitch McConnell who couldn’t stand the idea of Moe Brooks in that seat, his preference being establishment denizen Luther Strange.

In November, Jones will face off against Tommy Tuberville who is quite popular having done several stints as a college football coach, including at Auburn, which according to Alabama lore, is one of only two schools in Alabama. You can read my early experience with this phenomenon here. In any case, Jones had his work cut out for him, having to decide to split his time: Biden 50%-Jones 50%, go 100% for himself and hopefully get a bump from the National level attention, or go all-in for Biden and hope for some last-minute, Hail Mary help from the DNC.

Well, folks, it turns out that Dougie picked door number 3, which incidentally and despite her initial insouciance, Her Majesty also picked. Looks like I’m cooking dinner for the next week. Doug Jones made his whole, mewling, emotional promotion all about Joe Biden and his ability to “come together,” to “unite us,”

That really shouldn’t have been a surprise. I should have really thought that through. Joe Biden ain’t gonna win Alabama in this lifetime. That ain’t no surprise. That means Jones was there to help Biden a bit, as he’s from a RED state. But also, the DNC is throwing him a low-cost bone—trying to give him a bit of a boost without having to spend a lot of cash on trying to help a hopeless campaign.

In short, this was purely a political transaction. Jones gets a National Platform. Biden gets a promo from a Red State.