'Tough Love' Needs to Make a Triumphant Return

Did you know that the word "nice" doesn't actually mean having a pleasant or agreeable demeanor? The etymology of "nice" indicates it's actually a very negative thing to be. According to the Online Etymology Dictionary, "nice" is a word that describes the "foolish, ignorant, frivolous, and senseless." The word in "Old French" means "careless, clumsy, and weak." 

Nice guys finish last, and there's a reason for that. Despite all the modern dressing we put on being "agreeable and delightful," as the word is known today, being nice all the time is ultimately the agreement to be weaker and more passive than you are or need to be, which can lead to some pretty senseless outcomes. 

This doesn't mean one needs to be a complete and total ass to everyone in order to make the world a better place. The opposite of nice isn't being a jerk, not when you consider what being nice really is. The opposite of nice is being wise, firm, and sensible. Perhaps our society knows this in the back of our collective minds because when it comes time to set something right that has gone terribly wrong, we hear the phrase "no more Mr. Nice Guy." 

Society has put a lot of value on being nice. In fact, I'd argue too much value has been put on it to the point where we view it as a "quality." Certainly, it's good to be polite and friendly, but too many in our civilization have gotten to a point where we think every situation should be handled nicely. 

When a kid gets unruly, we're supposed to now get down to their level and try to talk to them about what they're doing wrong. Spanking or other corporal punishments are now "abuse," making it seem like swatting a child's behind is akin to beating them. While this might work for a handful of children, I've seen the results of this style of parenting and it's rarely pretty. Usually, the kid corrects their behavior when a stronger, more willful authority figure enters the scene and gets to work on setting the kid straight. 

This mentality even extends to the criminal world where some have suggested we don't send police to stop crimes, but social workers. Soft-on-crime policies crop up because people think we need to be more lenient and nice to criminals who are just victims of society. Judging by the constant increase in criminal behavior around our society, being "nice" is getting us in a lot of trouble. 

(Watch: Female Officer Fights for Her Life Against a Crazed Criminal Thanks to Democrat Policies)

Perhaps if we weren't so nice in our society, so many people wouldn't get that far, and I have a perfect example of what we should be seeing more of. 

I came across this video circulating around X on Monday that has people divided. In the video you see the coach of a football team berating a student intensely. The coach calls him a "pu**y ass b***ch" and challenges him to a physical altercation. The rest of the team sits back and watches on, clearly uncomfortable but unwilling to come forward to stop it. 

Immediately, accusations were thrown around, specifically of the racial variety since the coach was white and the student was black. The coach challenges the student, accusing him of wanting to do "gangsta sh**," while the student sits still and clearly fearful. 

But for every accusation of racism or disagreement with the coach, two or three comments agreed with the coach's actions, and what's more, a lot of this agreement seems to be coming from members of the black community. Watch for yourself. 

To be clear, there doesn't seem to be too much in the way of information to let us know what led up to this moment, but we can deduce some things from the video just by what's presented. 

For one, the other students aren't rising to defend the student being berated. In fact, you hear one other student tell another to close the door so fewer people outside will hear it. This can lead us to believe that the other students don't necessarily disagree with what the coach is doing. Moreover, judging by the fact that the kid being yelled at looks intimidated and guilty, he clearly finds himself in some unfamiliar territory and is finally getting something alien to him; comeuppance for his actions. The coach also invites the kid to tell his mom what is going down, and the kid doesn't seem willing to do that, meaning he must have really done something bad. 

Did the coach go too far? If he's just a hot-headed authoritarian figure who loses it when he's challenged? Yeah, he did. But something tells me the opposite is happening here and that, in truth, the coach might be trying to save the kid's future by showing him he's not the badass he thinks he is. 

I've been in this kid's situation and while it hurt to get tough love, I'm grateful for the reality check to this day. 

Let's take race out of this for a moment and address the bottom line about the sad realities of humanity. 

Young adults, especially boys, can easily develop a chip on their shoulder. We've got a thirst for greatness and we can naturally develop egos. Left unchallenged, these egos can create some seriously nasty characteristics. A good reality check from time to time is healthy, and if it's a person who actually cares about you that's delivering the reality check, then all the better. Some boys don't have the benefit of having fathers in the home, so it's up to a male figure who cares to come down on them. Many times, it's a coach, and that's likely what you're seeing in this video. 

Again, we don't know the full context and perhaps the coach is way out of line, but judging by some of the factors in this video, this kid is having a come to Jesus moment that he'll benefit from for the rest of his life. If this kid was truly acting like a damned fool and trying to be some tough gangster, then this coach might have just saved his life. 

I can tell you this, many a father has delivered this exact speech to their sons when they've gotten way out of line, and their sons are all the better for it. 

This applies to daughters too. Not long ago I talked about a father coming back and popping his daughter who was twerking for a camera. Naturally, he received backlash for getting physical with the young girl, but this moment of tough love might have set her on a better course. In that moment of confrontation, that father showed his daughter that he cared enough for her respectability and self-worth that he wouldn't let her think that hyper-sexualization of herself is okay. 

(READ: A Father Showing Up for His Daughter Has Keyboard Warriors Furious)

Neither the father nor the coach are being nice here, but being nice wasn't going to set these kids straight. Being nice doesn't correct the bigger problems. Being nice is a societal pleasantry for when things are good, but being nice has clearly steered society in the wrong direction, and perhaps we should now get to the point where we all say "no more Mr. Nice Guy."


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