There’s nothing funnier than a UK official boasting about the glorious rights its citizens enjoy, at least from the perspective of us free folk here in the former colonies.

On Thursday, London’s Mayor Sadiq Khan tweeted out about what President Donald Trump would find if he were to visit his glorious city, including a united people who have more hope than they do fear.

He also mentioned that Trump would see a city that holds its “liberal values of freedom of speech very dear.”

If he comes to London, President Trump will experience an open and diverse city that has always chosen unity over division and hope over fear. He will also no doubt see that Londoners hold their liberal values of freedom of speech very dear.

— Sadiq Khan (@SadiqKhan) April 26, 2018

All of this is hysterical. London has surpassed New York in murders due to people being knifed to death, and Kahn’s backward response isn’t to find out what’s causing so many attacks to happen, but blame the inanimate tool being used in the attacks.

But most hilarious is the idea that London is a city that values free speech. If Khan was being honest, he’d tell you that this “free speech” comes with terms and conditions, namely in the form of not saying anything mean on Twitter lest you face the long arm of the law.

No one knows how Orwellian the UK can be better than Mark Meechan, AKA “Count Dankula.”

If you haven’t heard of the plight of UK citizen Meechan, then allow me to remind you of his tale and the moral lesson of how precious our free speech rights are.

Meechan’s girlfriend thought her dog was the cutest thing living on the planet. Meechan, a popular YouTuber and something of a jokester, decided to teach the dog to do something incredibly not cute, and that was to give Nazi salutes when he heard the phrase “heil Hitler.” It should be noted that Meechan is in no way a neo-Nazi, and has zero respect for Nazism. It was simply a joke. You might think the joke was in bad taste, and that’s fair, but what followed as a result can only be described as ludicrous.

Meechan was apprehended by authorities, and after multiple court battles spanning the course of years, Meechan was sentenced to prison for a year for “hate speech.” Luckily for Meechan, this sentence was reduced to an 800 pound fine for being “grossly offensive,” but even that is way beyond the scope of the punishment fitting the crime.

If anyone has the right to weigh in on the absurdity of Khan’s tweet, it’s Meechan.

And Meechan did with a right hook to Khan’s proverbial jaw.

You literally set up a multi-million pound "hate crime" unit that arrests people for mean tweets.

Sit down. https://t.co/LXJoZXjnpw

— Count Dankula🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 (@CountDankulaTV) April 26, 2018

The “hate crime unit” Meechan is referring to is a project started by Khan to ferret out mean tweets on the internet, get the victims of these tweets some help, and then investigate the perpetrator who may potentially face punishment.

That’s right. Tweet something disagreeable in London, against the law or no, and you may find yourself visited by police.

And I’m not kidding about the “hate crime” you commit being punishable despite it not breaking any laws. I’ll let the London Metropolitan police explain.

https://twitter.com/AlizeeYeezy/status/974606290960961536?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Ftipolitics.com%2Fmedia%2Fe3ac005494a62db530ad103124ba4d23%3FpostId%3Df73cfa52afac

By the way, London’s lack of free speech doesn’t just extend to the internet. Say the wrong thing on the train, and you could find yourself in prison according to the authorities.

Just a reminder to not say anything on the train in the UK that someone might take as racist or bigoted or you might go to prison. pic.twitter.com/LmMlAIAIJU

— Brandon Morse (@TheBrandonMorse) April 25, 2018

London does not have free speech. Khan needs to get his facts straight.