The Latest Remmy Nominees: Font Violations, Charismatic Assassinations, Marriage Negotiations & Bozo

From our Fractured Media files, it is time for a new round of nominations for nefarious news nonsense! In recognizing the efforts of press unprofessionalism, journalistic sloth, and generally deserved media mockery, we have created The Golden Remmington Awards.

This trophy honors the olden days when hard-scrabble hacks committed actual journalism and hammered out dispatches on those hefty wordsmith devices. To commemorate that past of muckraking reporting and shoe leather investigation, we acknowledge those who fail today or misreport in an audacious fashion.

This week, imbalanced thinking was on display as the alleged merchants of truth seemed to rely more on emotional insistence. These are the inauspicious nominations, in several categories, hoping to be (dis)honored at the end of the year for the 2024 Remmy Awards.

Distinguished Explanatory Reporting

James Oliphant - Reuters

In covering a recent speech by Donald Trump, Oliphant explains that the former president — while discussing his recent assassination experience — declared that Iran has been tabbed as a nation that is behind the attempts on his life. The reporter declared that he said this was done “without evidence,” despite the fact the report states Trump said he had been briefed on the matter by intelligence officials.

Oh, and then there is that small detail of federal authorities making public statements to this effect…back in July, following the first assassination attempt on Trump.

Trump implicates Iran, without evidence, in assassination attempts against him - https://t.co/0KTQAQhhTm
— Reuters Iran (@ReutersIran) September 25, 2024

Distinguished International Reporting

Associated Press

Considering how after five years the Washington Post is still a punchline for its obituary on ISIS leader Abu Bakr Baghdadi where it called him an “Austere Religious Scholar,” one might think a news agency would strive to avoid a similar humiliation. We have evidence to suggest that at the Associated Press they do not think.

In its report on the Israelis taking out yet another leader of the Hezbollah terror group, the AP saw fit to refer to Hasan Nasrallah — in a now-revised headline — as “Charismatic and Shrewd.”

Ladies and gentlemen, the mainstream press! pic.twitter.com/JVy4xVqMW5
— Visegrád 24 (@visegrad24) September 28, 2024

Distinguished Editorial Writing

Padma Lakshmi - New York Times

While we do not especially expect deep thinking courtesy of a celebrity chef cooking show hostess, the Times gave print space to Ms. Lakshmi to tout the presidential merits of Kamala Harris…based on her affection for food. This is already a rather tepid reason to vote for a new leader on its surface, but you can see how the paper decided to alter the approach once mockery arrived over the claim made by its initial headline.

I think it is fair to say the @NYTimes was roundly mocked over its headline choice.
Notice the oh-so unsubtle alteration from the original to the current offering. pic.twitter.com/tTzGe3Q7bJ
— Brad Slager: A Folksy Coach & Joyful As a K-Hive! (@MartiniShark) September 23, 2024

Distinguished Investigative Reporting

Kwasi Gyamfi Asiedu - Politifact

In typical fashion, the fact-check site revises an accurate statement to render it FALSE by injecting nuance and characterizing a quote as being taken out of context. Then — it promptly does that very thing.

In seeing the need to defend Tim Walz from his daffy quote about a recent school shooting – “We cannot afford four more years of this” – the site claims his fuller quote was needed to see he was not exactly referring to the current “this,” which would be the Biden-Harris administration. It doesn’t show Walz’s complete remarks, which provide the full context.

But then they go on to provide Walz accusing Vance of saying of the shootings “it is just a fact of life,” which takes Vance…wait for it…completely out of context. Politifact even addressed this quote from the GOP running mate but did so in trademark style. In its assessment, they noted numerous sources quoting Vance incorrectly – Kamala Harris, The AP, Joy Reid, Walz, and others – and yet they could not bring themselves to rate these claims as FALSE. It does not carry a rating at all.

A misleading viral video claims to show Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz saying “we can't afford four more years" of Vice President Kamala Harris. He was referring to four more years of a Donald Trump presidency, but the clip excluded the context. https://t.co/ruwKyGBwt6
— PolitiFact (@PolitiFact) September 24, 2024

The Salad Shooter Commemorative Plaque for Distinguished Linguistics (Worst Quotes)

Nicolle Wallace - MSNBC

GUEST GENERAL STEVE ANDERSON: “As a black woman, the product of a mixed marriage, she will inspire millions of people throughout the world. Our credibility as a nation — that we would be able to allow…our country is so great that we allowed a woman like that to become the Commander In Chief, the President of the United States — that is going to send a powerful message all over the world. People like Vladamir Putin are going to say, ‘Hey wait a minute; these guys are truly a democratic country, they truly are representative, truly are fighting for all their people.’ And Kamala Harris is a manifestation of that.”

HOSTESS NICOLLE WALLACE (In response): “Wow.”

General Steve Anderson on MSNBC says Kamala is an "inspiration" because she's a "product of a mixed marriage," and that it sends a "powerful message" to the world and Putin, who will marvel at the "truly democratic country" the United States is pic.twitter.com/dEb4jiqncE
— HOT SPOT (@HotSpotHotSpot) September 19, 2024

Distinguished Local Reporting

Ana Goni-Lessan - USA Today

The Florida beat reporter recently went to a Ron DeSantis press conference. For reasons to be made clear, we cannot detail for you what he spoke about. But we can tell you this much – the sign on his podium was extremely distracting.

DeSantis is hosting a press conference right now, and the sign (which is held up by 6 pieces of duct tape) says: SUPPLY CHAIN & INFRASTRUCTURE INVESTMENTS.

And each word is a different font size and I am losing itttttt.
— Ana Goñi-Lessan (@goni_lessan) September 20, 2024

Just for reference sake, since we are interested in delivering for you all the news, here is what had the USA Today reporter unraveled and incapable of performing her assigned duties.

Thank heavens we have a “state watchdog reporter for @USATODAY” to keep an eye on these things for us. Do you have any thoughts on the substance of his talk or were you too shook by the podium sign to focus? pic.twitter.com/6UdIP9Q8ke
— Amygator 🐊 *not an actual alligator (@AmyA1A) September 20, 2024

Distinguished Public Service

National Public Radio

The public news outlet had made a curious announcement. One might think that after the avoidance by Kamala Harris of being dubbed a “Czar” and the shameless manner the press industry has collectively embraced the “Joy” theme of her campaign, it would be better to steer clear of either term. We have evidence that at NPR they do not think.

In response to continued flagging listenership the executives at NPR have concocted a new strategy. They are going to dub a correspondent to become the station’s Joy Czar, to report on uplifting stories. We will lay down our marker as to which of the presidential candidates is likely to be featured.