Our weekly recognition of less-than-meritorious excellence in journalism worthy of a skewed version of Pulitzer Prize consideration.
As an extension of the media-mocking venture at Townhall, Riffed From The Headlines, we once again recognize the exalted performances in our journalism industry and compile worthy submissions for the Pulitzer Prize board in numerous categories. To properly recognize the low watermark in the press, let us get right to the latest exemplars of journalistic mis-excellence.
DISTINGUISHED EXPLANATORY REPORTING
- Joe Atmonavage – NJ.COM
This report details for us a plight experienced in a correctional facility where two of the inmates had become pregnant. This was the result of another inmate who had been sent there who was a trans woman. Amazingly, the authorities did not anticipated this result after an ACLU settlement that required trans individuals be allocated to prisons based on their declared gender, leading to sending a biological male to a women’s prison.
Throughout the article, the prisoner who impregnated women is referred to as a woman. We learn the inmate was moved to another facility, “and that she is currently the only woman prisoner on the site.”
Transgender woman who impregnated 2 inmates removed from N.J.’s female prison https://t.co/CnJkHCn9cC
— njdotcom (@njdotcom) July 16, 2022
Distinguished Breaking News
- Chris Cillizza – CNN
In the current Pennsylvania Senate race, things took a ridiculous turn. John Fetterman released a cell phone video of former “Jersey Shore” cast member Snooki that was…well, not an endorsement, exactly, but a snarky dose of insult delivered at his opponent, Dr. Mehmet Oz. Chris Cillizza was apparently impressed with this shrill and unfunny delivery from an overlooked, reality show figure.
Behold, Cillizza is bowled over by…Snooki.
Monster troll move https://t.co/Qajoswsdxf
— Chris Cillizza (@ChrisCillizza) July 14, 2022
Distinguished Feature Writing
- Jenny Singer – Glamour Magazine
With a wide array of economic indicators being distributed, there comes one from the fashion magazine Glamour that is unassailable. They spoke not to economists with a sterling education, but to the lasses who twirl on brass poles.
-“According to some sex workers, traffic in strip clubs is low—a fact that’s often been associated with a faltering economy. Whether that’s an accurate indicator of a looming recession is up for debate, but the strippers who spoke to Glamour explained that tracking the economy is a useful way to help them make informed career decisions.”
Don’t you dare laugh; you know this is a far better source than Paul Krugman.
— Samantha Barry (@samanthabarry) July 11, 2022
Distinguished Breaking News
- Emma Mayer – Newsweek
Joe Biden is losing the rap vote, chronically. It is a level of mockery or trolling one might not expect from the entertainment industry toward a Democratic president, but Snoop Dogg has leveled harsh criticism with his branded line of cannabis.
The rap star has released “Sleepy Joe OG,” a new strain of marijuana from his line of smoke. Call it fortuitous marketing that, just as the president is stumbling overseas this week, the product sports this tagline – “You won’t even remember what country you are in!”
The package shows a photo of Joe Biden along with the phrase, "You won't even remember what country you are in!" https://t.co/hADHyFSd6C
— Newsweek (@Newsweek) July 11, 2022
Distinguished Cultural Criticism
- G. Allen Johnson – San Francisco Chronicle
Director Joe Dante, the force behind the 1980s classic “Gremlins” made a boastful claim about a current Disney property. While not angry, Dante was rather insistent that the popular alien Grogru – also known as Baby Yoda – from “The Mandalorian” series was based entirely on the character of Gizmo, the furry gremlin from Dante’s film.
Or, to take a contrarian position here, maybe Baby Yoda was based on adult Yoda, from “The Empire Strikes Back”, which predated “Gremlins” by four years.
— InsideJokesTV (@InsideJokesTV) July 16, 2022
Distinguished Coverage of Frozen Desserts – The Joe Biden Honor
An art collective made a comment this week by sending out ice cream trucks that sold specific frozen treats. They offered ice cream pops in the shape of faces of notable billionaires. What we are presented with is frozen confections that represented Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates, and others. The concept is that this way, customers get to “Eat The Rich.”
You could question exactly how they are making a social statement by actually engaging in the practice of capitalism. But then, you could also look into exactly what they are accomplishing by paying $10 DA***ED DOLLARS for crappy soft-serve frozen avatars, in a bid to stick it to the billionaires.
New Yorkers can take a bite out of capitalism by munching on popsicles shaped like the heads of billionaires Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates, Jack Ma, Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg near McCarren Park in Brooklyn pic.twitter.com/oD8JEZhkeW
— Reuters (@Reuters) July 13, 2022