A Federal Court Declares the Star Wars Sequels to Be Garbage Films

(Photo by Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP, File)

Those upset about the last Star Wars films being sub-par have vindication, as court records now confirm.

Anyone with even a passing knowledge of the Star Wars franchise is aware that the final titles in the series have been regarded negatively. Sure, “The Last Jedi” and “The Rise Of Skywalker” were financial successes, but in the canon, the final movies are seen as both financial letdowns and artistically disappointing. Okay, that could be a softened assessment. Among die-hard fans, these entries are actually reviled. 

It may seem odd to consider films grossing over $1 billion globally to be considered disappointments, but in the realm of the franchise, these were severe letdowns. The seventh film, “The Force Awakens,” by comparison, grossed nearly $1 billion in North America alone, more than doubling that total overseas and earning one billion more than “Skywalker.” When it came to those final releases there was vocal backlash, diminished interest, and a sharp drop-off in repeat viewings, which is a hallmark from the fanbase. Now, it has been established in a federal court these movies are less than optimal.

The way this came to be was indirect, as it involved a court case concerning — cooking oil. 

This derives from the formally infamous 9th Circuit Court of Appeals, long renowned for wildly speculative decisions from the bench. In recent years, the Trump administration and Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell worked hard to fill more federal benches with conservative judges, and the 9th Circuit has seen the inclusion of more of those placements, leading to some more level-headed rulings. Also some mirthful opinions, it seems.

In the case in question, there was a decision to be made regarding the labeling of Wesson brand cooking oil. The suit, begun in 2011, revolved around the label bearing the phrase “100% Natural,” which has been contested as the product is found to be made from genetically modified ingredients. The suit has been argued further regarding payouts to the class suit decision, and to the subsequent sale of the brand by ConAgra Foods to Richardson Co. This is where the reference to Star Wars came into the ruling.

Judge Kenneth K. Lee, one of the newer Trump appointees, gave an opinion where he was commenting on the response from ConAgra. 

Simply put, Richardson, the new owner of Wesson Oil, can resume using the ‘100% Natural’ label at any time it wishes, thereby depriving the class of any value theoretically afforded by the injunction. ConAgra thus essentially agreed not to do something over which it lacks the power to do.

Then, expanding on this position, Lee invoked the movies in order to make his point.

That is like George Lucas promising no more mediocre and schlocky Star Wars sequels shortly after selling the franchise to Disney. Such a promise would be illusory.

This comment carried the footnote, where Lee specified his reference. “As evident by Disney’s production of The Last Jedi and The Rise of Skywalker.”

And thus it has been established. Now if there are arguments arising from the opinions of these titles there is a ruling that can be pointed out — and arguments are sure to be made. Those last two films saw divisive reactions between critics and fans, and they even carry opposing results. On Rotten Tomatoes, “The Last Jedi” was favored by critics and reviled by the fans — 90%, to 42% favorable —  and “The Rise Of Skywalker” saw the reverse reaction, with only 51% of critics giving it high marks and the audience praise set at 86%.

Now, the squabbling can be augmented with official court records to be referenced as evidence.