Finally, the song that has offended few can be made miserable for everyone.

One of the more emblematic offerings of how petty and intolerant the activist set in this country can get has been the annual outrage cycle over a Christmas ditty. For the past few years we have been treated to feigned outrage over the classic winter song “Baby It’s Cold Outside”. The interpreted male sexual harassment in the playful duet is as tiresome as these outragers can get.

Well here to fix the inoffensively unbroken song is John Legend, who has decided to rewrite the lyrics to a more tolerant version. What we are left with is a completely neutered version of the song, absent the playfulness and fully imbued with “woke” lyricism that will induce eye-rolling as one walks away. Here is a sample of the new interplay Legend has penned between he and Clarkson for the classic:

KC: “What will my friends think…”
JL: “I think they should rejoice.”
KC: “…if I have one more drink?”
JL: “It’s your body, and your choice.”

Seriously. We get served what is essentially a three-minute mutual-consent form, set to music. That should evoke warm holiday cheer!

What is lost on all of these hand-wringing “Carol Cops” is that the reality behind the song has nothing at all to do with toxic masculinity and male aggression. The song was written by a husband and wife team in the entertainment business, and they performed the song at dinner parties with their artistic friends. It later won an Oscar for Best Song when it was included in the film “Neptune’s Daughter”. What will silence these offended tunesmiths is that in that movie there is a decidedly non-predatory detail.

The song was played twice in the film, performed by 2 couples in separate scenes. The first involved Ricardo Montalban attempting to woo Esther Williams. In their scene Williams is able to rebuff his advances in a firm manner. In the other scene Red Skelton and Betty Garret share the duet, but here is the uncomfortable reality (uncomfortable for the outrage set). Garret is the aggressor in the scene, as Skelton attempts to leave her. It culminates with her actually tossing him down on the sofa to get him to remain.

Such toxic masculine predation.

But thankfully we do not have to endure such socially disturbing behavior any longer. We are spared the indignity of having to hear a song that offends our sensibilities. I shall do something that apparently is beyond the skill set of those perpetually-offended leftist culture scolds. If I come across this John Legend castrated version I will immediately change the channel.