Proving they have become  beyond parody the social justice perma-activist set in this country continue to exceed farcical expectations. Last holiday I noted a very over-sensitive sort who lobbied to have a haunted house shut down over very dubious reasons. I cheekily referred to it as a “War on Halloween”. Well this year these people are trying to bring that to reality.

Cosmopolitan Magazine, that ever dysfunctional outlet on social propriety, has a piece where they encourage parents to refrain from having their kids dressing up as the Disney character Moana. You can already guess — the contemporary complaint of cultural appropriation is the reason, and it is one lacking in reasoning.

Recognize this: Moana is a really special character to young girls of Polynesian descent who have never seen a Disney Princess who looks like them, just like how Tiana from The Princess and the Frog likely resonated with young Black women who had waited decades to see themselves represented. White girls have plenty of princesses to choose from — there’s Belle, Ariel, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty … you get the idea. If your Caucasian son or daughter doesn’t get to be exactly what they wanted for Halloween, encourage them to take a step back and realize that they’re awash in privileges that the real Moanas and Tianas of the world will likely never see.

So much to unload. First off, the whole reason leftists are even in a position to be outraged here here is this is an issue of their own making. These same people who are bellyaching over appropriation have called for Disney, and other entertainers, to present a more varied array of characters. Now that studios have represented more cultural subsets the activists do not want you to embrace the diversity. Instead they seek to balkanize these offerings. When consumers begin to accept these characters there is a call to segregate the enjoyment.

While the temptation is to say this article is a hyperbolic representation, the editorial references a column from a race-based family affairs outlet where a mother is tied up in a Gordian knot (if I may further appropriate) over her daughter’s costume decisions. The daughter wants to dress as either Moana, or Elsa, from “Frozen”. After fulminating over the offense of being Moana Mom also bristles at the Elsa alternative: “Her character sends the message that you have to be a certain way to be “beautiful” or to be a “princess”…that you have to have White skin, long, blonde hair, and blue eyes. And I don’t like that message.”

Oh this poor child. Don’t enjoy other cultures. Don’t celebrate your own culture.  The only thing remaining is to dress up as the Human Being mascot from the TV show Community. “I don’t care if you don’t want to! You have to think of the judgement of others when you are doing something enjoyable!!!”

Note something however you will never see from these cranks: Show me the article where these writers declare a young POC girl cannot dress in a costume of a white princess. That will NEVER happen of course, and we know it. Taking their “logic” to the proper end, they must also be declaring that that those young girls of color must only dress as culturally appropriate characters themselves, correct? Those young girls of Polynesian descent can only choose from Polynesian characters — so I guess they ALL must go out as Moana. Or is it only white children who are supposed to stay in their lane?

Here is where the leftists mindset completely goes off the rails. These are the same people who are currently lecturing us that elementary aged children (and younger) have the ability to select what gender they self-identify as for themselves. So while they imbue children with the psychological heft to formulate a decision that will alter their entire lives at the same time they are incapable of pulling the “proper” Halloween costume off the shelf.

Further adding comedy, Cosmo states that parents who allow for their child’s cultural offense will be considered equally guilty of…some social inequity. Mind you, these are the same parents they declare have absolutely no say in their kids electing to go on birth control, or even getting an abortion. I mean, it’s not like those decisions will have a lasting effect, like a costume that is worn for a few hours! 

To really expose the pragmatic aversion of these intersectionalists allow me to toss a hypothetical. Let us say there is a 6 year old boy who identifies as a girl. In order to appropriate his share of confections he desires to adorn himself as a Disney princess. If he is a Caucasian does that mean Moana is off the accepted list? How is it considered proper for him to adapt an entirely new gender, but crossing a racial line is some kind of insurrection? What if that same 6 year ALSO identifies as Polynesian? Is that somehow an unacceptable choice?

This is where the fluidity of the judgement from the left becomes exposed as pure farce. Biological realities become interpretational, but wholly subjective cultural boundaries must be rigidly adhered to, even when they are not apparent.  It would all be laughable, if these reactionaries had any type of sense of humor regarding themselves.

They have inspired me however. I’m going to dress up this year as a hectoring leftist social justice warrior. The scary part being, these monsters actually exist among us.