Wait, you mean it's a bad idea to get rid of proven products in favor of hysterical "green" solutions based on no actual scientific evidence? That's the story after it was recently revealed that almost all paper straws and their bamboo alternatives contain toxic chemicals known as "forever chemicals." 

According to the report, a study in Belgium found that 18 out of 20 paper straws tested, and four out of five bamboo straws, contained what are called PFAS. They are called "forever chemicals" because they linger "almost permanently" in the environment, from the soil to the water supply. 

Some paper and bamboo straws contain so-called "forever chemicals" that could make them a less-than-ideal alternative to plastic, researchers have found. 

Scientists in Belgium recently tested dozens of straws from supermarkets, retail stores and fast-food restaurants in the country, and found that the majority contained PFAS — a family of synthetic chemicals used in the manufacture of consumer products because they can resist stains, grease and water.

So just how toxic are these chemicals? According to researchers, they are associated with everything from low birth weight to risk of cancer.

Exposure to PFAS can be associated with low birth weight, high cholesterol, thyroid disease and an increased risk of kidney and liver cancers, but researchers are still learning about these health risks and aren't sure which levels of exposure are problematic.

I don't think scientists not knowing what levels of exposure are problematic should give anyone comfort. Those are typically the kinds of things that should be worked out before putting a product into widescale use, as paper straws have been the last several years, mostly at the behest of Democrat politicians.

What makes this all the more ridiculous is that the banning of plastic straws in many jurisdictions was completely pointless. The amount of plastic used by plastic straws is minuscule compared to other products, and the sudden rush to ban them was based on a study done by a nine-year-old. 

The "green" movement is nothing if not hysterical, though. In fact, this latest situation is similar to the banning of plastic grocery bags. It wasn't long after those bans became popular that it was revealed that the production of paper and even reusable bags actually does more harm to the earth than just producing one-time-use plastic bags. Further, as RedState reported, reusable bags are unsanitary and help spread diseases (because no one washes them).

The best intentions often lead to the worst results. It's a lesson that the leftwing in the United States just refuses to learn. Thus, we are all left suffering under their ridiculous mandates until the science gets around to telling the truth. As for paper straws, they were terrible even before the news about the toxins in them. Who wants to taste paper while drinking a coke?

Editor's Note: This article was edited post-publication for clarity.