Earlier on Monday evening, the list of speakers slated for the first night of the four-night Democratic National Convention (DNC) seemed to indicate that the opening speaker would be former presidential candidate and Minnesota Sen. Amy Klobuchar (D). Let’s just say it didn’t exactly turn out that way.

The “show” started up at 9 Eastern Time, with a pre-show, video introduction full of clips from speeches by former President Barack Obama, the late Congressman John Lewis of Georgia, who passed away one month ago Monday, and the Democrats’ 2020 presumptive nominee, Joe Biden.

That start was almost normal. But once it got underway, it felt like you’d tuned into an episode of “20/20” combined with “Desperate Housewives.” Actress Eva Longoria Bastón, who was tasked to serve as the host for the “Convention Across America,” told viewers that the aim of the convention was to “save America.” She didn’t specify from what. She continued by saying that “the past few months have tested us all,” a reference to the Wuhan coronavirus pandemic, but that “the past four years have left us diminished.” By the sitting president. But that wasn’t the end of the Trump-bashing.

From there, it just got more convoluted, with a bunch of pre-recorded content jammed together with such speed, it could only be appreciated by someone who suffers from ADD. First, there was the Pledge of Allegiance, recited by teens. Then children from what appeared to be every U.S. state, each wearing a red, white, or blue shirt, sang “America the Beautiful.” Then after a convocation, Longoria Bastón returned to “check in with folks around the country” about COVID-19.

Another video played of Biden speaking to a crowd, then we saw our first, live political speaker: Wisconsin congresswoman Gwen Moore (D), who called the presumed, veep nominee “Sistah Kamala.” Then there was another video, this one with the Bruce Springsteen song, “The Rising” swelling up in the background. The singer and his wife also appeared, smiling, in the video at one point. There were shots in the montage of the Black Lives Matter “mural” being painted in Manhattan and the BLM street sign being installed. Still, there were more videos.

Longoria Bastón reappeared to give us the three bullet points for the evening: the pandemic, the failing economy, and systemic racial injustice. A cheerful agenda, for sure. Oh, then there was Washington, D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser (D), who condemned President Trump for “sen[ding] federal troops into the streets” of her city and “tear gas into the air.”

Then the two brothers of George Floyd showed up, asking viewers to observe “a moment of silence for George, Breonna [Taylor], and the many, other souls we’ve lost to injustice.” Several other videos followed, along with remarks by South Carolina congressman James Clyburn(D), whose endorsement of Biden before that state’s primary may have clinched his win there. Apparently, Clyburn has forgotten all about Joe’s comments to interviewer Charlamagne Tha God. Anyway, you guessed it, there were more videos. And other politicians spoke, too.

Oh, and then Democrat governors were given the floor. And then all of the Republicans they could manage to rustle up. After a video of a few of those, it was Klobuchar’s turn.

The MN senator didn’t make an appearance until the second (and final) hour.

She began by speaking about the Democrats’ narrative du jour: saving the U.S. Postal Service from Donald Trump, affirming that she “believe[s] the Post Office is essential.” Then she made one of her corny quips that “[Trump] is still going to have to send a change of address next year.” Yet, with a straight face, she called him “divisive.” It went on like that, with her words touching on racial injustice and how Biden’s a “man of deep experience,” whom “Barack Obama leaned on for his decency and strength.”

Klobuchar also talked about her own run for the presidency, then paused before she mentioned Sen. Kamala Harris (D-Calif.), her former rival for the vice presidential slot. She used just three words to talk about her: “My friend Kamala.” Quite an endorsement there, Senator Salad Comb.

Anyway, the whole event was a display of utter disorder. When the exec producer of the political programming you’re watching also produced the Tony Awards and a Super Bowl, this is the kind of show you can expect, apparently.

But what became clear right away about it was one thing: this isn’t a convention. It’s a TDS (Trump Derangement Syndrome) support group meeting that someone decided to televise.