The Top Five Trumpaloopa Sycophants of 2017

It’s been quite a year for Donald Trump, for the news media, for Democrats…..for everybody! But here we are. We survived. Some people thrived, and many of those people are Trump supporters.


There are three distinct groups of people that make up the Trump faction. There are Trump voters. These are people who likely supported one of the other GOP candidates during the primary and then voted for Trump when he got the nomination. There are the Trump supporters. People who might have supported another candidate but went all in for Trump once he got the nomination and never looked back.

Then there are the Trumpaloopas. The Trumpkins. The Trumpelestiltkins. The Trumpaholics.

The Trump fans who use photos of Trump as their Twitter avatars and have #MAGA in their profiles. The super-duper Trump fans who believe he can do no wrong, will defend everything he says, and will never waiver in their support. These are the people who if Donald Trump tweeted, “I pooted,” would quote-tweet, “Nobody farts like Trump! #MAGA!”

The list is in no particular order since you really can’t rank sycophants:

Jacob Wohl – According to publicly available information, this guy is 20 years old and an “investor.” That likely means he works as a bank teller somewhere or he trades penny stocks. He did start a hedge fund operation in Arizona as a teenager but was ordered to cease operations due to fraudulent activities. No wonder he loves Trump. You’ll find Wohl replying to nearly every Trump tweet, usually within minutes, with a statement of support no matter what Trump says. You can find him on Twitter, but his feed is filled with stuff like this:


You can almost hear him in the Smeagol voice saying, “My Trump. My preciousssss.”

Sean Hannity – Have we ever witnessed a person who walked the establishment conservative line for so long go down the path of Trumpism so fast? Hannity didn’t just get on board The Trump Train. He was ready to lie down in front of it, shouting, “I LOVE YOU DONALD!!!” as the train plowed over him and turned him into a corpse. Even in death, Hannity would be yelling, “MAGA!” Hannity ditched conservatism to gain favoritism in the eyes of Cheeto Jesus. He bought into the Seth Rich conspiracy and blathers on about “fake news” and “the deep state” like he’s trying to emulate Alex Jones.

Jack Posobiec – If there were ever a more pathetic Trumper than Posobiec, you’d be hard-pressed to find one. Posobiec is like that kid in school who always said he had something better than another person. You can picture him in class today. Some kid says, “I got the iPhone 8!” Posobiec would respond, “Well I got the iPhone X with 512GB of memory and the FULL SCREEN!” Everybody knows he’s lying, but they’d say nothing so he wouldn’t drone on about it anymore. Posobiec made his bones playing footsie with the alt-right like his knuckle-dragging Gorilla Mindset lisping goon, Mike Cernovich. Posobiec was happy to play kissy with white nationalists such as Richard Spencer. He, like Cernovich, built their large following catering to the Pepe the Frog crowd with talk of “white genocide” and adhering to kook conspiracy theories such as Seth Rich and Pizzagate. Posobiec then wanted to gain some credibility and hilariously tried to distance himself from his past. It didn’t work. But he still humps Trump’s leg.


Matt Boyle – Boyle, by virtue of being a part of the Bannonbart operation, became a Trump leg-humper by default. But he quickly started sucking down the Trump Kool-Aid and became a true believer. Boyle, who uses so many adjectives and adverbs in his “reporting” it would cause most editors to jump out a window, is another person who feels Trump can do no wrong. He also tends to use the term “fake news” quite a bit which is hilarious considering he’s the person who wrote about the fictitious “Marcophone” (after being tipped to it by another stooge, Florida blogger Javier Manjarres). He clucked about the “establishment” and

Sebastian Gorka – He’s such a douche that he blocks anybody on Twitter critical of him or Donald Trump. It is hard to keep track of all the idiotic statements he’s made and lies he’s told in defending Donald Trump or attempting to cast blame for every Trump failure on Barack Obama. Whether he’s misquoting Jake Tapper over terrorist attacks, saying Hillary Clinton should be tried for treason, or lying about his credentials, Gorka generally goes on rabid pro-Trump shows, kisses the butt of Trump, and hopes that one day he will be allowed back into the White House.


Honorable mentions: Mike Cernovich, Laura Loomer and John Cardillo – No need to write about them. They’re boring but will defend Trump to the death.

There you have it. Let’s see how this plays out in 2018!


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