Testicular Soy Sauce, a Dead Legume, and a Bike Brolly: Are We Doomed?

Photo by Adrianna Calvo from Pexels

Welcome to Are We Doomed? the weekly column in which I will take the latest news and try to determine if it’s all downhill from here.

It’s Raining What?

Florida is a weird place and, when it gets cold, weird things happen. Like week, for example, when frozen iguanas started falling out of trees. They will thaw out though, so they’re not dead.


Verdict: Live, frozen iguanas are falling out of the sky. I know the Bible said “frogs” but could this have been a translation issue? This sounds plaguey to me.


Planter’s brand has killed off Mr. Peanut and will hold his funeral in the form of a Super Bowl commercial.

He died in most heroic fashion.

I have to say, I did enjoy other brands getting in on the social media frenzy.



And then  Pop Tarts had to go and make it weird.

Verdict:  I’m reserving judgement on this.  Why kill of an icon more than a century in the making? It got you a news cycle, but now what? Will he come back to life at the Super Bowl? Will we find out he had a nutty son that will take over? Time will tell.


Verdict: If you’d rather do this than get wet, you’re doomed.

Or you could not.

Word got around that testicles have taste receptors, so now men are dipping them into soy sauce to check. I don’t know why soy sauce, and I’m not googling it to find out. Here are a bunch of Tik Toks on the subject should that be something you want to see. Vaya con dios.

Verdict: Totally doomed.

Elders Not Welcome

Elders have always been a respected part of religious life. Well, not for this Minnesota Church that is quite literally banning old people to attract younger congregants. The olds can come back in a few months once they’ve got cool young people fully entrenched in the church community.

Verdict: Have these people read the Bible? Do they know anything about Jesus? This is just gross and we are doomed if this is how religious institutions think they should act.


Parking Lot Pooper

I’m glad she was caught?

Verdict: Yep,  doomed.

For the Love of Dogs

A way to drink beer and help dogs? Count me in.

Verdict: I love it when people find new ways to help doggos. We’ll be ok.

Final Analysis

I think we’re ok for another week!



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