Bad Tattoos, Segregated Pumpkins, and Tentacle Drones: Are We Doomed?

Photo by Connor Danylenko for Pexels

Welcome to Are We Doomed? the weekly column in which I will take the latest news and try to determine if it’s all downhill from here.

Political Tattoos

Getting a tattoo is a big decision. You don’t want something you’re going to regret like, for example, something really dated. An example of both might be a message in the handwriting of a presidential candidate polling in the single digits.

I like how Kamala tries to pretend she isn’t horrified by this, but doesn’t quite pull it off. It’s adorable.

Verdict: This person is doomed, but I’m not ready  to say the rest of us are.

Pumpkin Police

There are good pumpkins and there are bad pumpkins, New Jersey knows the difference, and they’re going to make citizens pay! Here’s the deal– if you buy a pumpkin for decorative purposes are taxed, pumpkins for eating are not.

I’m not sure how they’re going to know, but it’s New Jersey, so I’m assuming they’re going to assign a pumpkin inspector to go door-to-door.

It’s worth clicking on that tweet and going through the replies for a laugh.

Verdict: New Jersey is doomed, but I’m not ready to say the rest of us are.

Tentacle Drone

I’m honestly not even sure what this is.

https://twitter.com/InterestingSci1/status/1186250945073733633

Verdict: Yeah, probably.

California Goes Full California

Gas prices in California are skyrocketing, and Governor Gavin Newsom is going to get to the bottom of it!

One Twitter user is already done investigating, but Newsom will probably still spend taxpayer money trying to figure out the taxation problem, and I’m willing to bet he won’t blame taxation.

Wow, I wonder if they’ll ever figure it out. Wishing them the best of luck.

Verdict: California is doomed, but I’m not ready to say the rest of us are.

Students Arrested for Free Speech

As  part of a dare, two students at the University of Connecticut were caught on video using the N-word. They were arrested and are now being criminally charged under a Connecticut statute that prohibits “ridiculing” language. Yes. Criminally charged. It was pretty idiotic, but calling speech, even idiotic speech, a crime is hugely problematic.

Verdict: Just by being arrested and charged, we’re 75% doomed. If the charges aren’t dropped, we’re all the way there. This is genuinely terrifying.

Finishing Rita’s Quilt

Check out this beautiful story.

Verdict: A community built online, coming together, making Rita’s quilt. We’re going to be ok.

Priest Helps Stray Dogs

A priest in Brazil is bringing stray dogs to mass so that parishioners can fall in love with and adopt them. Dogs and Jesus are two of my favorite things!

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=399524353829366&set=pb.100013154135108.-2207520000.1572045239.&type=3&theater

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=855035221563750&set=a.146720335728579&type=3&theater

Verdict: We’re not doomed at all, and I want to go to this church.

Nursing Home Residents Spend Time with Hospice Dogs

In Northern Michigan, there’s a magical place called Silver Muzzle Cottage. They are a rescue and hospice for senior citizen dogs so that every one of them ends their time on earth in a loving place, as every dog deserves.

Once a week, they take a field trip to local nursing homes where the dogs and residents can just love on each other. It’s as simple as that.

https://www.facebook.com/peoplemag/videos/1697028423760393/

Verdict: Silver Muzzle Cottage has long been one of my favorite places, because they know that every doggo deserves the absolute best. This program is just another reason to love them. Knowing that people like this are out there doing these wonderful things tells that that, for sure, we are not doomed.

For now.