Kidnapped Whisky, Kowtowing to the Commies, and The Friend Police: Are We Doomed?

Photo: Pixabay

Welcome back to my Saturday column in which I take a look back on the news of the week and try to determine- are we doomed?

Let Communism Ring!

As you probably heard, the general manager of NBA’s Houston Rockets supported those fighting for freedom in Hong Kong. The Chinese government, Chinese Basketball Association, and Chinese businesses were upset. It was going to cost the NBA money and, being capitalists who wanted those communist dollars coming in from China, the NBA caved. They’re even censoring fans now as well as the media.


Still, it hasn’t made a lot of difference. Nike, for example, has pulled Houston Rockets merchandise from all stores in China. What happened to this slogan from just about a year ago?

Either they don’t believe in freedom or they’re not really willing to sacrifice much.

Verdict: Yeah, we’re doomed.

I Trusted You, Scotch

If you spend any time at all on the internet you  have, at some point, been faced with the question “if you were to be kidnapped, what would you post on social media to let your followers know you needed help, what would it be?”

I can only assume The Glenlivet has been kidnapped.

There is no other justifiable reason for whisky pods to exist. The Glenlivet Distillery has only been around since 1824, so it’s not even close to being the oldest distillery operating in Scotland,  but they’re hardly a new upstart looking to disrupt the market by getting milennials to shove Tide Pods full of whisky down their gullets. They’re better than that, surely.

Verdict: Full doom. Possibly numbed by whisky, but you’ll have to eat it, so what’s the point?


You Can’t Sit With Us

Last Sunday, Ellen DeGeneres went to a football game and sat with friends.  People were outraged, because Ellen has friends with whom she is not ideologically identical.

Liberals were outraged that she would do such a thing. Conservatives barely thought about it beyond seeing a couple of cute photos floating around the internet and absently thinking it looked like they were having a good time (although we probably knew she was going to get tarred and feathered by her own for it).

Here was Ellen’s reaction to the hate that was tweeted at her for knowing a person with differing opinions.

Here’s the thing. Conservatives have lots of friends we disagree with. Heck, we don’t even agree with our other conservative friends half the time, and I can’t think of any conservatives who don’t have liberals in their circles. I can think of plenty of liberals who won’t associate with conservatives, or just know one who isn’t like the rest of them (who are, obviously,  terrible).

In short, conservatives are like:

Were Going Shopping Mean Girls GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

But liberals are like:

Mean Girls GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

Verdict: On one hand, the people who are supposed to be on her “side” took her to task for not self-segregating and, even after this video, refused to pause and consider that maybe she was right. Many just doubled down. On the other hand, in 2019 it takes courage to sit with people that you know you’re going to get torched for sitting with, then go on television to say that, not only are you not sorry about it, but everybody else needs to check their kindness levels. It makes me think that some people are beyond human reach, but the world itself isn’t doomed yet.


Honoring His True Dad

Check out this college football player who changed his last name to honor the man who raised him.

Verdict: We’re going to be ok.


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