Emergency Puppy Goes Political

The world can be a pretty dark place, what with unrest in the middle east, Putin doing whatever Putin does on any given day (riding a bear sans shirt?), and Gwyneth Paltrow constantly telling us to put stuff up our vaginas. Sometimes, we just need to see a puppy. The Twitter account EmergencyPuppy has always always stood in that gap, ready with cute puppies to help us through any emergency we might encounter in our day-to-day lives. Alas, it is 2017 and things can’t stay fun.


Our sweet Emergency Puppy has now become “Government Watchdog,” and he is terrible, tweeting Che Guevara quotes and the like. I realized this today and thought that, like so many who wear a t-shirt of his dirty visage, they didn’t know that Che was, you know, a murderer. They knew.

Just read the thread.

The Che tweet, unfortunately, wasn’t an anomaly. Emergency Puppy has become a political account.


Some invoked my own dog, Virgil, as political fodder.


(I suppose he could mean that Virgil has no sense of responsibility and demands that I take care of his every doggy need whilst openly contributing nothing to the household, but he’s still wrong).


Emergency Puppy is an account that has 630,000 followers who just wanted to see puppies who are now being sucker-punched into left-wing nonsense. They think they’re woke, but they’re really just sharing sophomoric political hot-takes. Perhaps what is worst is that they are neither funny nor original, they sound like a run-of-the-mill college student saying the same liberal talking points as their friends. This was an account that I used to seek out, not just an account that I enjoyed when it showed up in my timeline. No more.

They have of course, been unfollowed, although I’m sure I have been replaced by liberals who are interested in puppies sharing quotes from fashionable murderers, and I’m sure this won’t be the only seemingly innocuous account that will meet a similar fate in the weeks to come. This isn’t I don’t follow liberal accounts, I do, it’s because people don’t always want to think about politics, even those of us who work in it. People have myriad interests, including adorable puppies, and we don’t need all of them tainted with the political. Sometimes a cigar can be just a cigar and there’s no reason for a puppy to be anything but.


There was once a better time, if you can cast your mind back to the halcyon days of early 2016, when we were allowed to have fun on the internet. We could follow cute puppy accounts and expect to see nothing but cute puppies. The idea of these puppies being politicized would have been unthinkable. People were able to enjoy their lives, and those myriad interests, without feeling the need to politicize the content and alienate their followers. Those days are gone. Now, every platform, however seemingly innocuous, is being used to preach politics. Even when that platform is puppies.

This is why we can’t have nice things.


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