Sometimes, your day goes to crap. Such a description seems apt for a woodsy woman who recently had to dial 911.
The lady and her dog had gone for a hike in northwest Washington’s Olympic National Forest. At some point, she sensed nature’s call.
Fortunately, an outhouse was on hand. Presumably, she played with her phone while camping on the commode.
But then, natural disaster struck. Perhaps it was frustration with an app or the result of digestive difficulty; but whichever version of logging in was the cause, somehow, she dropped her electronic device.
Error is par for the human course, and the toilet tank allowed for a hole in one. Call it a Michael Jackson move: Surely she Screamed at the very Bad sight of her phone splattering into a putrid pile of Human Nature.
The phone was ABC and PYT — About to be Buried in Crap by Progressively Yielding to Turds.
Seconds mattered, and she was quick on her seat: She partially disassembled the toilet top and fashioned a fishing line from her dog leash.
She reached in head-first…
In the words of Brinnon Fire Department Chief Tim Manly, that “didn’t work very well, and in she went.”
For a reported 10-15 minutes, the hapless hiker struggled as a potato trying to escape its stew. At some point, she determined an emergence was impossible.
Though she was trapped and treading water in the crapper, one thing had gone swimmingly: Her phone was still working and had service.
Hence, she was able to reach out for help.
Both Brinnon Fire Department and Quilcene Fire Rescue crews responded.
Courtesy of the Kitsap Sun:
Firefighters passed her blocks to stand on to reach a harness, which they used to pull her out of the vault. The Brinnon department reported that the woman said she was uninjured and requested no medical transport.
“I imagine that she was probably very fortunate,” Manly said. “I don’t have any experience with that kind of a rescue, except for now, but I know that is not a good place to be.”
Reasonable advice was offered, but she wasn’t in a receptive mood:
The woman was washed down and “was strongly encouraged to seek medical attention after being exposed to human waste, but she only wanted to leave,” the department said.
However — per a Fire Dept. Facebook post — she “thanked the responders and continued her journey back to California.”
The Department noted her good luck:
The patient was extremely fortunate not to be overcome by toxic gases or sustain injury.
That’s all well and good, but they may have overestimated her snappy survival skills. Depending on where in California she lives, she may have simply been operating in her element. She might’ve merely been floating in what’s familiar:
Blast from the past…America's stanctuary city.
Data Company Creates Brown-Pinned San Francisco Poop Map in Honor of 118,352 Piles Reportedhttps://t.co/A2f6Su2R8f pic.twitter.com/tmtS7XJIue
— Alex Parker (@alexparker1984) April 27, 2022
See more content from me:
Jen Psaki Decries the ‘Harm’ and ‘Misinformation’ of Free Twitter, but America Was Founded on Our Right to Be Wrong
Big Tech to the Rescue: Google Will Now ‘Inclusively’ Convert Your Words to Wokeness
The Science Is Settled: Whiteboards Are Racist, at Least in Physics
Find all my RedState work here.
Thank you for reading! Please sound off in the Comments section below.