We’ve all heard it — “Good luck getting a job like that.”

Such statements are often offered by the old to the young, warning that alterations to their appearance will clip their careers.

Yet — as I’m sure you’ve noticed — dress codes ain’t what they used to be.

Consider the case of school teacher Sylvain Helaine.

Education’s looking different these days, and Sylvain’s a perfect portrait.

He happens to be overseas, but I’m betting the guy could get his claws on a classroom close by.

It’d sure be something to see: The freethinking Frenchman’s absolutely covered in tattoos.

That includes the soles of his feet.

And his tongue.

And his eyeballs.

“Little Timmy, meet your teacher — he’s a salamander.”

French primary school teacher and tattoo enthusiast Sylvain Helaine, known as Freaky Hoody, poses in Palaiseau.
A picture by #AFP photographer Christophe ARCHAMBAULT pic.twitter.com/TYua6qW5hV

— Aurelia BAILLY (@AureliaBAILLY) September 23, 2020

French schoolteacher Sylvain Helaine aka 'Freaky Hoody’ says he lost his job at a kindergarten after a parent complained he scared their child https://t.co/ulIcbAGqx9 pic.twitter.com/rufrb1SszQ

— Reuters (@Reuters) September 29, 2020

As reported by Reuters, the inked instructor says most kids are “cool” with his lizard look — so long as they get up close and personal:

“It’s only when people see me from far away that they can assume the worst.”

He’s certainly seen some setbacks — last year, an unfortunate incident cut short his kindergarten career.

At the Docteur Morere Elementary School in Palaiseau, a three-year-old caught sight of the gila-monsterish man.

Gila Monster move a short distance from a backyard in Cave Creek recently. These lizards are venomous, but not dangerous to anyone that doesn't intentionally interact with them. pic.twitter.com/SeHzCMlI27

— Bryan D. Hughes (@rattlesnakeguy) September 5, 2020

Parents later complained their tot was terrified to the tormenting tune of nightmares. 

Two months later, Sylvain’s position was poached.

It was determined, per an education spokesman, that kindergarteners “could be frightened by his appearance.”

France's most tattooed man told not to teach nursery children

Sylvain Helaine says a parent complained their three year old had nightmares after seeing him.https://t.co/nUa0n10ZRE#News#BreakingNews pic.twitter.com/QTwatXtV5Y

— THE WORLD NEWS (@NEWSWORLD555) September 28, 2020

Meet frenchman, Sylvain Helaine. He teaches children in Grade 1-3. Must be very nice. https://t.co/1mlS8E7aPo pic.twitter.com/MTTGQpJN1i

— SIDE (@Side_Effects__) September 26, 2020

https://www.instagram.com/p/B2yNP7NCpZI/

He believes “the decision they took was quite sad.”

But don’t misunderstand — he’s still leading little kids:

“I’m a primary school teacher … I love my job.”

But it’s not his only one — since the age of 27, the Caucasian’s spent roughly 460 hours getting penned into a person of color — including green, pink, and yellow.

He had an “existential crisis” while teaching at a private school in London, and now being tattooed is his “passion.”

If you ask me, he’s got his finger on the planet’s pulse — according to media messaging, one’s shade of skin is more critical than it’s been in 60 years.

Apropos, move over Rachel Dolezal — Sylvain’s got a more authentic aim:

“One day I will end up fully covered in black ink.”

It’s inevitable:

“I will keep covering myself layer after layer, ending up black – not necessarily because I want to, but because the more you cover, the darker you get.”

Still, he told the Sun he wants people to see what’s inside:

“Sometimes an old grandmother will see me in the playground and call my boss to say, ‘Hey, who was that weird guy around the children?’ But as soon as they see I’m an intelligent teacher, they are okay. I’m just a regular guy, a schoolteacher – once they realise they should never judge a book by its cover, everything goes smoothly.”

He’s just a school teacher, folks. And, apparently, “Freaky Hoody.”

Previously, he was a martial arts instructor.

Whatever the situation, the man knows how to fit in. He’s a veritable chameleon.

Let's face it: we've all wanted to be this chameleon. pic.twitter.com/2FIwWY5RNu

— Gwydhar (@Gwydhar) September 27, 2020

And perhaps one day he’ll be teaching your tykes.

Send ’em to school with an apple — they can be the teacher’s pet.

Or maybe he can be theirs — if they have a terrarium.

Had a frog #terrarium I have now decided to convert to a giant day gecko #reptile terrarium which requires some construction! Taught myself glass cutting with my Dremel and liking the results so far! Still have work to do and new friend has a good temp home in my other tank. pic.twitter.com/CfPkEdc6pb

— 🐮Lone Tech and Cub🐭 (@larrainelage) April 9, 2020

-ALEX

See more pieces from me:

Hero Sandwich: Chicago’s Famously Gay ‘Boystown’ Gets Toasted, Renamed Over a Non-Binary Beef

Moxie Gets a Makeover: Gucci Debuts Its $2,600 Dress – for Men

Say Cheese: Costco Cancels a Pimento Based on Mayor’s Portrait of Black Lives Matter

Man’s Penis Falls Off, Doctor Adds One to His Arm

Find all my RedState work here.

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