In case you haven’t heard, Donald Trump is a respected businessman. He’s married two immigrants. People find the New York eccentric amusing. And the media, Hollywood, and the Democratic Party love him. He’s hailed in countless rap songs, and he wrote the foreword to the autobiography of black cultural influencer Russell Simmons — founder of Def Jam Records as well as other successful ventures. Donald mentored him.
Oh, sorry — that was all before the guy put an “R” next to his name.
In case you’re unaware, Donald Trump is a failed businessman, life-long racist, a homophobe, xenophobe, and misogynist. He viciously and maniacally hates immigrants. People find the Adolf Hitler clone repulsive. The media, Hollywood, and the Democratic Party hate him. He’s an enemy of the people, particularly of anyone who isn’t white. He’s vilified in rap songs, he’s not at all forward, and you’d have to be blind and deaf to not know he should be jammed. Satan mentors Donald.
Wait — I forgot something: The guy in the newer description will also refuse to ever leave office, which makes sense given his stunning level of dictatorial evil.
Hillary was sure to remind us of that last bit on Monday’s episode of The Daily Show.
Speaking to Trevor Noah, here’s what Hil had to offer:
“Well, I think it is a fair point to raise as to whether or not, if he loses, he’s going to go quietly or not. And we have to be ready for that.”
Is “fair” the best word choice there?
For a throwback, here’s the same Hillary before Trump added that “R”:
They’re not so friendly these days, and Clinton asserted Beelzebub’s trying to undermine the election. According to Hillary, the Commander-in-Cheat claims mail-in voting would lead to fraud.
But herself, she prefers academic adherence:
“There have been so many academic studies and other analyses, which point out that it’s just an inaccurate, fraudulent claim.”
The former Secretary of State believes Trump’s playing games — just like all those other shenanigans:
“There isn’t that problem. All the games that are played…to try and keep the vote down. That’s the real danger to the integrity of our election — that combined with disinformation and misinformation and all the online shenanigans we saw in 2016.”
Hillary pinpointed Donald and his cronies’ two-point plan for domination:
“Republicans have two prongs to their strategy to try to win. The first is: Try to prevent as many people who they think won’t vote for them from voting. So make the lines really long where young people vote. Or African Americans vote. Or Hispanics vote.”
“(They’ll) try to make vote-by-mail as difficult as possible, when in fact that is how Donald Trump votes. And everyone who knows vote-by-mail understands that.”
Geez, he sounds like the worst person on earth. If only he was the guy in the first paragraph of this article. Then we could just enjoy laid-back lives, focus on our own issues, and live free of the Great Satan and all the constant warnings of his imminent, demon-assisted blitzkrieg.
In lieu of that, let’s just pretend we can.
Here ya go:
— Kristen Blush (@KristenBlush) July 14, 2020
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