Conquering Kiwis: New Zealand Makes a Stunning Announcement About the Coronavirus

John Cowpland
AP featured image
FILE – In this 2005 file photo, sheep in yards wait for sale at Stortford Lodge in Hastings, New Zealand. For the U.S. to be ranked alongside two minnows in world affairs _ whose combined population is less than Florida’s _ prompted considerable derision at home. Some New Zealanders feel they should be the ones taking offense. Known for its stunning landscapes, sauvignon blanc wines, and producing the blockbuster Lord of The Rings film trilogy, New Zealand was plunged into recession by the U.S. mortgage crisis in 2008 but emerged in relatively healthy financial shape. (AP Photo/NZPA, John Cowpland, File) NEW ZEALAND OUT, NO ARCHIVE, NO SALES


On Monday, New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern served up a statement that went viral: The country’s beaten the coronavirus.

As of June 8th — with 40,000 residents having tested negative — NZ officially no longer has any known active cases of COVID-19.

Therefore, the nation that gave us The Lord of the Rings, singer Keith Urban, actor Russell Crowe, model Rachel Hunter, and the hilarious HBO show Flight of the Conchords will be reopening.

As reported by Stuff, the prime minister took to a press conference with the big news:

“Today, I can announce that the Cabinet has agreed we will now move to level 1 to get our economy fully open again.”

So non-essential businesses? Open your doors. Sporting events? Slip on your jerseys and start your engines. Concerts? Sing along with those colossal Kiwi crowds.

But don’t get it twisted — the virus lives on:

“We will almost certainly see cases here again. This is not a sign that we have failed. That is a reality of this virus.”

And, per Jacinda, the path to a pre-pandemic world might be a tricky one:

“While we’re in a safer, stronger position, there’s still no easy path back to pre-COVID life.”

Going forward, how does the sheepish country keep out COVID? Well, for now, its border remains closed to all but citizens and residents. As noted by The Daily Caller, the boundary’s been bound since March 19th.


At the time, Jacinda explained:

“I’m not willing to tolerate risk at our border.”

Continuing, those who enter will undergo a two-week quarantine (like this guy was supposed to do).

Compared to a lot of places, NZ’s gotten off light:

Total cases: 1,504
Total deaths: 22

Or course, it’s a small nation. Here’s a more revealing rundown:

Total cases, per 1 million pop.

NZ = 301
Iceland = 5,298
Canada = 2,549
Qatar = 24,987
Germany = 2,223
UK = 4,235
USA = 6,115

And this is something you might not expect: New Zealand — per capita — was hit worse than China, which has seen (according to its government) 58 cases per million.

Congratulations to Australia’s eastern neighbor making it to the other side of a virus that’s had the best PR since the Colonel promoted Elvis.

How do we make it there, too? From what I can tell at the moment, so long as people get together only for Democrat-approved purposes, there’s no reason to worry about contraction.

As I wrote recently, it appears COVID stands for Contagious Only Via Ignoring Democrats.

Here’s to hoping for a continued collapse of the planetary pandemic.



See 3 more pieces from me:

To Fight COVID-19, UK Bans Multi-Household Trysts


Move Over, Murder Hornets – Beware the Coronavirus Cannibal Rat

‘I Was Too Hot’: A Nurse Gets Punished for Going Near-Naked ‘Neath Her See-Through PPE in an All-Male Wuhan Ward

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