On May 3rd, RedState’s Elizabeth Vaughn brought you knee-knocking news of America’s latest six-legged migrants, two-inch-long Asian “murder” hornets.
Those guys seem a less-than-welcome addition to a family picnic, but the coronavirus has given rise to a more vicious animal.
You may not have thought of it, but rats are your pets — you house and feed them.
They depend on you and me and the rest to keep doing what we’re doing so they can stay the course, too.
One man’s garbage is some rats’ horn of plenty. And ever since COVID-19 blew a clunker of a note into the once-beautiful symphony of American machination, those now-roving rodents have been havin’ a hard time of it.
In fact, the CDC’s had to put out the 411: Don’t get too close to our long-tailed friends — they’re hangry something fierce:
Jurisdictions have closed or limited service at restaurants and other commercial establishments to help limit the spread of COVID-19. Rodents rely on the food and waste generated by these establishments. Community-wide closures have led to a decrease in food available to rodents, especially in dense commercial areas. Some jurisdictions have reported an increase in rodent activity as rodents search for new sources of food. Environmental health and rodent control programs may see an increase in service requests related to rodents and reports of unusual or aggressive rodent behavior.
It’s gotten so bad that, according to urban rodentologist Bobby Corrigan as per The New York Times, ratland’s turned into The Warriors:
“[Rats are] simply turning on each other. They are going to war with each other, eating each other’s young in some populations and battling each other for the food they can find.”
To be clear, those are city hoodlums; so if you’re in a subdivision, you’re likely okay:
“[T]he rats that live and eat in residential blocks probably haven’t noticed a single bit of difference during the shutdown.”
But if you head into the mega-affected metropolis and lay eyes on rats sporting bandanas either red or blue — or throwing strange signs with their little feet — leave the area immediately and seek well-lighted parts of town. Any sight of rats in sweater vests will let you know you’re moving onto safer ground.
If it’s bad here, one can only imagine the problems in parts of quarantined Europe — just a few years ago, the Daily Mail ran a piece titled “‘Rats the Size of Cats are Invading Our Cities’: Two-Foot Long Giant Rodents Which Are Immune to Poison Are Discovered Feeding From Bins in Britain.”
Although, I’m assuming the rodents in Ripon are a bit more polite than ours in boroughs like the Bronx.
But it isn’t just rats at issue. As noted by The Daily Wire, there’s shutdown shenanigans all over the animal planet:
[W]ild animals are reportedly roving all over the country amid the empty cities and locked down suburbs.
“Animals have started taking advantage of cities as they enter lockdown during the coronavirus pandemic. From New Delhi, India, to Buenos Aires, Argentina, groups of animals including deer and lemurs have started to come out to explore — in search of food or just to play,” The Guardian wrote.
“Pigs Are Taking Over the Streets of Paris,” said another headline.
What’s scariest of all is that Rodentia Rattus isn’t just a thing in the shadows. As we’ve reported here at RedState more than once, amid stay-at-home orders, the government’s trying to turn us all into ’em:
Stay safe, political party animals.
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