Michael Moore Reads Trump's Mind and Nails His Only Path to Re-Election

(State Run Films/Briarcliff Entertainment via AP)
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This image released by State Run Films/Briarcliff Entertainment shows filmmaker Michael Moore in a scene from the documentary “Fahrenheit 11/9.” (State Run Films/Briarcliff Entertainment via AP)
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Michael Moore knows how Donald Trump can win the election: cheating.

Appearing on HBO’s Real Time with Bill Maher Friday night, Mr. Moore offered his analysis amid a spotlight on conservative values:

“The majority of the country does not support the Republican agenda. The majority of the country are not climate deniers. The majority of the country believe women should be paid the same as men. Go down the whole list.”

Were you aware of an agenda aimed at ensuring women make less?

Could a guy who mistakenly believes the majority (or even some substantial minority) of Republicans believe in unequal pay for equal work be right-on-the-money about what the majority of the country believes?

Michael Moore believes so.

And he thinks the GOP is game to game the system. Because they have to, like they’ve had to for a while:

“The only way Republicans can win, and this has been true for a few elections, is to cheat, is to somehow game it, rig it, do whatever they need to do.”

There is in fact a reason to pay close attention to Michael’s insight — he ain’t just your regular ol’ documentary-makin’ Democrat. The dude can read minds:

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“The only way they are going to pull it off is if he’s able to cancel the election or postpone it. That is what we’re going to have to fight against because I’m certain that is what is going on in his head right now.”


That dastardly Trump strikes again — that sinister blight on America who’s both a dummy and evil genius, that agent of Russia, that hater of women who promotes them to positions of power, that phobic detester of immigrants who marries them, that anti-black crusader who wrote the foreword to black cultural influencer Russell Simmons’s autobiography, that failed businessman worth over $2 billion…he’s a calamitous combo indeed.

But perhaps his most striking feature is his transparency: Despite the perpetually-trumpeted opaque orange of his head, as commentators constantly remind us, they can see his thoughts.

Mind-reader Michael knows the would-be dictator wants to postpone the election. Or cancel it. In order to cheat. In order to win.

But why would he need to do that? For years, we’ve been told he just won’t leave office, period. So let ’em have the election — when he loses, he’ll just stay anyway. I heard it from lots of people on TV who were watching his thoughts years ago.

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Or maybe those psychics were charlatans.

Either way, thank goodness no cheating can occur via mail-in voting. And nobody’d want to do that.

If we can just get those Republicans not to cheat, we’ll be golden. Because that’s the only way they can win.

Women making the same as men, here we come.

-ALEX

 

See 3 more pieces from me:

We Don’t Need No Education: University of California Votes Unanimously to Dump the ACT and SAT

Ghastly Video of a Young Man Savagely Beating an Elderly Nursing Home Patient Reminds Us What True Evil Looks Like

Bang(s)! Protestors Take a Shot at Gretchen Whitmer as They Storm the Capitol With ‘Operation Haircut’

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