Actress Sofia Vergara participates in the BUILD Speaker Series to discuss her new subscription underwear line “EBY”, at AOL Studios on Wednesday, Sept. 27, 2017, in New York. (Photo by Evan Agostini/Invision/AP)
It’s something I’ve wondered for years: Companies have Casual Friday. That tells me they’ve determined that allowing people to dress as they wish doesn’t hurt business.
Why do they, then, make everyone uncomfortably dress up four days a week?
Well, welcome to the revolution.
On Monday, Walmart Executive Vice President for Corporate Affairs Dan Bartlett reported a piece of pandemic peculiarity to Fox News.
As it turns out, folks are buying a lot of shirts at the hearland’s favorite retailer — sales have “increased.”
Pants and skirts? Not so much.
Dan said tops are definitely “selling better than bottoms.”
As revealed to Yahoo Finance, he has a theory:
“We’re seeing increased sales in tops, but not bottoms. So people who are, uh, concerned obviously from the waist up.”
On Twitter, evidence abounds:
anyone still wearing normal pants is the cops
— Lyz Lenz (@lyzl) March 25, 2020
What are these “pAnTs” of which you speak?
— Leah McElrath 🏳️🌈 (@leahmcelrath) March 25, 2020
Week 1: leggings everyday
Week 2: only the comfy leggings
— Verna Kale (@vernakale) March 25, 2020
— Toph (@IamTheToph) March 25, 2020
Felicia’s lovin’ hanging around at home:
Prediction: After this no woman will ever want to go back to wearing a bra, makeup, or real pants again.
— Felicia Day (@feliciaday) March 23, 2020
And there was this bit of awesomeness:
my boyfriend has been wearing sweats so much he has started calling normal pants… "hard pants"
— David Mack (@davidmackau) March 26, 2020
They’re all correct.
Guys what is the point of getting dressed during quarantine?? I’ve been wearing the same pajama pants all week and I see no hope this will change anytime soon.. pic.twitter.com/b2mf37r4oF
— Tayler (@tayjanetay) March 28, 2020
“Well I can’t just let her wear the same outfit she wore yesterday” – an actual thing I said out loud about my animal crossing character as I sat on my couch wearing the same pajama pants for the third day in a row
— negaoryx (@negaoryx) March 29, 2020
In my opinion, to some degree, business in America is being changed forever. Some people are learning they’ve been commuting — and wearing pants — for nothing.
Ready for remote night arraignments! But the real question is: am I wearing pants? 🤔 pic.twitter.com/r4QziLg39L
— (ﾉ*ﾟｰﾟ)ﾉ (@kemichels) March 27, 2020
Of course, as couples stay home together during this time of isolation, there could be another reason not to dress below the waist.
Are sparks flyin’ all over town?
There’s a good chance.
Around New Year’s, 2021, Walmart may see another surge in shirt sales — baby-sized.
How’s the quarantine affecting your work (and play)? Are you wearing unnecessary pants right now (I may not be)?
Let us all know in the Comments section.
See 3 more pieces from me:
No Makeup, No Auto-Tune: Here’s a Roundup of Celebrity In-the-Raw Isolation Videos for Your Pandemic Pleasure
The Moron Olympics: Two Men Are Awarded Terrorist Charges for Licking Items in Walmart and Coughing on a Store Employee
Amazing Photos Reveal Major Cities Devoid of People as the World Stays Home, Where the Heart Is
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